The Life We Choose or the Life that Chooses Us
by WhiteFeather1965
Summary: A Scarecrow and Mrs. King Future Fic. Amanda is in a coma following a severe head trauma. While she is unconscious, an angel shows her what her life would have been like if she and Lee had not met on that fateful and pivotal day at the train station. Marriage and Agency revealed almost a year before. Sort of "It's a Wonderful Life" ala SMK. Fate always has a backup plan.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Scarecrow and Mrs. King is owned by Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Enterprises, Ltd. For entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement intended.

Summary: A Scarecrow and Mrs. King Future Fic. Amanda is in a coma following a severe head trauma sustained from an explosion during an intelligence operation that went bad. While she is unconscious, an angel shows her what her life would have been like if she and Lee had not met on that fateful and pivotal day at the train station. Marriage and Agency revealed almost a year before. Sort of "It's a Wonderful Life" ala SMK.

 **The Life We Choose or the Life that Chooses Us**

 **Chapter 1**

 _Friday Morning, April, 1989, Amanda's House_

Amanda awoke and even now, almost a year after she and Lee had brought their marriage and profession to light, she still marveled at the euphoria of being able to wake up next to the man she loved more than life itself. She stretched and tried to work out some of the kinks and tight muscles caused by their rather exuberant lovemaking the night before. They had stopped using contraceptives several months before with the understanding that if it happened, it happened and if it didn't, it just wasn't meant to be. Amanda smiled and laid her hand on her stomach. _Maybe this time was the magic bullet,_ she thought. She wanted so much to give Lee a child of his own that they could love and raise together.

She looked over at her husband, still asleep beside her. He looked so calm and at peace, that Amanda was loath to disturb him. She hesitated only a moment before she touched the tip of her nose to his and ran it up the bridge of his nose to his forehead, where she planted the gentlest of kisses. When he inhaled and opened his eyes to look into hers, she whispered, "Good morning, Big Fella."

Lee reached to touch her face and lay his fingers around the back of her neck. Slowly, like playing a big fish on a line, he drew her in for a kiss and kiss they did. _Who needs coffee to wake up in the morning when I have this beautiful woman to wake me up,_ Lee thought as he watched Amanda arch her neck in response to his kisses.

When they finally came up for air, Amanda playfully jostled his shoulder and said, "C'mon, Big Fella. Time to get up. The security of the nation depends on us today."

Lee ran his fingers through his hair already disheveled from sleep and rasped, "Five more minutes?"

Amanda kissed him quickly and said, "You snooze, you lose. I'm first for the shower." With that, she scrambled out of bed, gathered her clothes for the day and laid them at the foot of the bed.

Lee heard the shower turn on and shook his head. It would never cease to amaze him how energetic and perky she could be in the morning, even if half the night was spent making love to the point of exhaustion and without the added boost of coffee. No matter what he might think, Lee still needed the jumpstart that coffee gave most people in the morning. He sighed and threw back the covers. Maybe he would surprise his wife in the shower and scrub her back. Lee set his bare feet on the floor and padded to the bathroom door.

"I'm coming in," he stage whispered.

In the shower Amanda had just finished rinsing the shampoo from her hair and she smiled as her husband pulled back the curtain and stepped in.

She watched as he picked up the washcloth and soaped it up. Then he gently turned Amanda's back to him and began to wash her back. Lee smiled as he made mesmerizing circles with his fingers and Amanda groaned with pleasure when he gently scratched her back through the washcloth.

Amanda turned around and her hands played for a moment on the muscles of his chest, before she reached up to chuck his chin with a curled forefinger. "Turnabout is fair play," she said softly, as she plucked the washcloth from his hand and began to soap it up again. She too smiled as she listened to Lee groan with pleasure, when she gently scratched his back through the washcloth.

"Oh, Amanda. That feels like heaven," he said. Then he turned and took her in his arms. Amanda squeaked and swatted at him with the washcloth as he nipped at her neck and the underside of her jaw.

Lost in each other for a few moments, they were unaware of time passing until they both yipped when the water pouring over them got colder. She let Lee rinse off his back and reached down to turn it off before they froze off certain important parts of their anatomy.

Lee smiled playfully as he snapped his towel at Amanda while she dried her hair. She waited for him to cast the towel her way once more and grabbed it from his hand in one graceful motion. She had been practicing and Dr. Pain would have been pleased. She snapped it back at him, the towel licking his bare behind with stinging force.

Lee laughed and said, "Ow! That's gonna leave a bruise," as he grabbed her and kissed her. Amanda was the first to come up for air and she happened to glance at the clock.

"Oh, my gosh! We're going to be late... again," Amanda said, a little louder than she had intended. "Billy is going to ship us off to a listening post in Alaska if we're late today."

"Calm down, Amanda," said Lee. "We've got plenty of time. I'm the senior agent in charge, remember. Nothing will happen until I get there anyway."

A little while later, Amanda ran a brush through her hair and watched as Lee unlocked the hidden safe in the bottom of the nightstand. He took out his service issue semiautomatic and Amanda's snub nosed revolver. He inserted a mag into the receiver and cycled a bullet into the chamber of his gun with a distinct snick-snick-click sound. Then he slid the gun into the leather holster under his right arm. He picked up two mags for his gun and put them in custom leather sheaths on his shoulder holster. He handed Amanda a speed loader for her gun and watched as she put it in a leather sheath on her belt. Then she snapped out the cylinder of her gun, spun it and snapped it back in, before she slid the gun into the leather holster on her right hip under her jacket.

Lee knew she still hated guns and didn't even like them in the house, but they were a necessary evil in their profession, especially during an intelligence operation. Though she was a pretty good shot now, she still shied away from shooting at people and was known to use any means at her disposal to avoid it. She had told him more than once that though carrying a gun was part of the job, she didn't have to like it.

Amanda checked her hair one more time in the mirror and turned to Lee, who looked at her appreciatively and with love in his eyes. As Amanda reached to straighten his tie, Lee said, "You're beautiful."

Amanda drew in a deep breath and released it slowly. Then she looked up at Lee and nodded. She was ready to go. Lee took her hand and they went downstairs to greet the day and their family.

 _Later the Same Morning, Agency Bullpen_

Billy called the room to order as Lee and Amanda suited up in blue ops jumpsuits and gathered their gear. "Scarecrow has TEAM 1, front entry. Francine has TEAM 2, rear entry. Ephraim has TEAM 3, monitoring and backup," said Billy, as he pointed at various places on a building schematic spread out on a desk.

"This one has all the indications of going south really fast. So get in, get it done and get out as quickly as possible. Scarecrow, you're in charge. Good luck, Children," said Billy.

"You have your assignments. Let's do this," said Lee, as he slung his gear onto his back and led the way to the waiting vans. Before they boarded their respective vans, Lee and Amanda hung back for a moment. They kissed and whispered, "I love you, Mr. Stetson." "I love you, Mrs. Stetson."

The van that carried TEAM 1 pulled up alongside the building in the warehouse district and Lee was the first to jump from the van, landing with a jarring thump on the hard concrete of the street. As Lee and his team made their way to the front entry, they stopped in their tracks as a loud explosion reverberated through the area.

The radio crackled with damage reports as Lee tapped his com and made his way at a fast trot to where the explosion had occurred. "Amanda, what happened? Are you there? Amanda?" No answer.

The backup team and all other able bodied operatives were attending to the injured and assessing the damage. The code for a NEST team and ambulances had already been issued. Billy had also been notified and was on his way.

Lee's heart almost stopped when he saw her. She was sitting with her legs crumpled under her with her upper body twisted and her left cheek resting against the wall of the alleyway. Her right arm was raised as though in surrender and her left arm was twisted at an odd angle between the wall and her body.

Lee dropped to his knees next to Amanda and touched her neck to find a pulse. A sigh of relief escaped his lips as her carotid thrummed forcefully under his fingers, rapid but strong and steady. He could see the subtle movement of her body in the slow rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.

Ephraim was right behind him with a med kit and blankets. Together, they immobilized her neck and carefully laid her on the ground. Lee pillowed her head with a folded towel and covered her with a blanket. Then he stanched the flow of blood from the wound on her forehead and wrapped the wound as best he could. Ephraim pinned her badly damaged left arm to her body while Lee wrapped it with an ACE bandage to keep it still during transport.

There was nothing more to do, but wait for the ambulance and Lee was left alone with Amanda, while Ephraim went to check on Francine, who lay on the ground nearby covered with a blanket. He glanced up when he heard sirens in the distance and saw Billy picking his way down the alleyway toward him.

"Scarecrow? Are you all right?" asked Billy as he approached Lee and noticed blood on the shoulder of Lee's jumpsuit. "You're bleeding. Maybe you should get checked out, too."

"Not mine, Billy," he said sadly and looked down at Amanda. He had to swallow before he could continue. "She was thrown at least 30 feet and slammed almost headfirst into a brick wall. When I found her, she was a crumpled bloody heap. Close as I can tell, she has a pretty serious head injury and her left shoulder is pretty torn up. She's not dead, but damned near. I've been trying to think what I'm going to tell her mother. I promised her when we told her about the Agency that I would keep Amanda safe."

They heard over the radio that the mop up team had put out the fire caused by the explosion and recovered the two operatives that had been killed, Davidson and Walker, good men both of them.

Lee watched as Ephraim gently tapped Francine's face to try to get her to come around. No response. Lee reached to stay his hand, as he tried again to rouse Francine. "No, Ephraim. She may have a severe concussion. Just make her comfortable and let the paramedics take care of her. If she's breathing and her pulse is strong, she's okay for now."

Just then paramedics came down the alleyway with a stretcher. They stopped where Francine lay on the ground and Ephraim pointed toward Amanda. Lee stood out of the way and watched as the paramedics strapped Amanda to a backboard and lifted her to the stretcher. Lee filled in the paramedics on Amanda's injuries and they praised his first response skills. He shrugged this off and mumbled a noncommittal response, as they checked her vitals. Breathing normal with breath sounds on both sides, airway clear. Blood pressure, slightly elevated. Good heart rhythm, pulse rapid due to mild shock, but strong and steady.

They started an IV and began to check her over. Lee visibly cringed when he heard them talking. Pupil response, both pupils fixed and dilated, unresponsive to light, left pupil possibly blown. Indication of severe head trauma with possible skull fracture. Left shoulder dislocation with possible severe joint and ligament damage, no indication of fracture.

Another pair of paramedics was checking over Francine. Her neck had been immobilized and her head was also pillowed on a folded towel. They started an IV. As Lee had said, she had a moderate to severe concussion.

When they loaded Amanda on the ambulance, Lee turned to Billy. "I'm going with Amanda. I hope Dr. Smyth isn't too hacked off about me leaving the scene of an operation without proper debriefing."

"Don't worry, Lee. I can handle Dr. Smyth. Go. Let me know how she's doing," Billy said and gave Lee's shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Lee jumped aboard the ambulance and sat down as they got underway. Lee sat out of the way and watched as one paramedic monitored Amanda's vitals. He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, as he held Amanda's hand and ran the pad of his thumb back and forth across her knuckles. For a moment he watched out the window as the ambulance wove its ponderous way through the mid morning traffic.

He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and whispered in a choked voice, "I love you, Amanda Stetson. Please don't leave me. I can't do this without you. Your boys need you. Your mother needs you. And most of all, I need you. I don't know if I could go on if I lost you. This is important, Amanda and I've never known you to give up on something that was important to you." He kissed her hand and held it to his face. His tears were warm as they trickled over the back of her hand.

The ambulance pulled up to the emergency entrance at Parker General. Lee ran alongside the stretcher holding Amanda's hand until a nurse said, "Sir, you need to let go now. Sir? Let go, Sir. A NEST team is standing by. She'll get the best possible care. I promise."

Reluctantly, Lee kissed Amanda's hand and let go. The doors closed in front of him and his face fell. He stood there for several moments, his forehead resting on the cool stainless steel of the door, reluctant to leave the one place where he could be closest to Amanda. He sighed loudly and turned with a startled jerk, when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. It was Billy.

"I came in with Francine. She still hasn't regained consciousness," Billy said. "How's Amanda?"

"She has a severe head trauma and skull fracture. Her shoulder is dislocated and badly damaged. I can't lose her, Billy. I just can't," said Lee, shaking his head. "She's my wife, but she's so much more. She's my best friend, the best friend I've ever had and she's my partner, not only at work, but in life. I love her more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. I don't think I could go on if I lost her."

"I know, Lee," said Billy and lightly grasped his upper arm. "Come on. Let's go find somewhere to sit down. You look like a stiff breeze would knock you over."

When they got to the waiting room and sat down on the couch, Lee sighed and started to rise. He said, "I need to call Amanda's mother and tell her what happened. Jonathan might want to know what happened to Francine, too."

Billy grabbed Lee's arm and sat him back down. "Already done. Ephraim called IFF as soon as the ambulances left. He's really on the ball. You know, he might make a pretty good field agent yet." said Billy.

Lee glanced up and saw Dotty at the nurse's station. He took a deep breath before he got up and went to her.

Billy watched as Lee gently gripped her upper arms and speaking softly to her, he told her what had happened to Amanda. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as she buried her head in Lee's chest. When she finally took a deep breath and looked up at him, he whispered some comforting words and led her toward the waiting area.

Billy rose from his seat to greet Dotty. "Hello, Mrs. West. How are you?" Billy asked.

Dotty ignored the hand that Billy offered. She raised her hands behind her head and shook her head in utter disbelief. She squeezed her eyes shut before she ground out, "How could you let her go into danger like that? Lee, you should have known better."

When she dropped her hands, Billy touched her on the upper arm and said, "Mrs. West, we had no way of knowing. The best doctors in the country are treating her. She is going to be all right."

Dotty fixed him with a withering gaze that would have struck fear into the heart of a field hardened KGB operative and said frostily, "So you say."

Just then a doctor came in and all eyes turned to him. Lee stepped forward and asked, "How is my wife, Amanda Stetson?"

The doctor said, "I'm Dr. Williams. Well, Mr. Stetson. Your wife is in critical but stable condition. She has no heart or breathing issues at this time. Her shoulder was dislocated and there is significant joint and ligament damage. The major medical issue here is she sustained a severe concussion and skull fracture. Due to a catastrophic head trauma, she is comatose and is expected to remain so for some time. Her CAT scan shows a closed brain injury with building pressure within the cranial cavity. We need to go in immediately and relieve the pressure to prevent further damage."

The doctor handed Lee a clipboard with a consent form on it. Lee signed it with a flourish and handed it back. Then he asked, "How long will the surgery take?"

"Barring complications, about 2 - 3 hours. I will let you know what's going on once she is in recovery," the doctor said. He saluted with the clipboard and left.

Billy looked at Lee and said, "I'd better go check on Francine. Let me know how Amanda is doing."

Lee, sounding kind of distant and distracted, said, "Sure thing, Billy."

Dotty looked at Lee with worried eyes. Lee looked back, a feeling of déjà vu engulfing his senses. This time Amanda wasn't fighting for her life as she had been in California, but the feelings of powerlessness and helplessness were the same.

"It'll be all right, Dotty. She's going to be okay. We just have to be patient." Lee knew he could get Dotty to believe that. Now all he had to do was to get himself to believe it, too. Lee's arm went around her shoulders and they sat down on the couch to wait.

Dotty sighed and shook her head, while Lee leaned back and closed his eyes. Dotty was silent as she sensed that Lee needed to be left to his own thoughts for a bit. After awhile Lee suddenly sat up and asked, "What about the boys?"

Dotty touched his arm and said, "They're still in school. They don't know anything about this yet. When they get out, Joe will pick them up and take them with him for the weekend. I told Joe I would call him as soon as I knew anything."

Lee leaned back again and closed his eyes. Spending half the night making love to his beautiful wife and then enduring the stress of seeing her injured had taken a lot out of him. He dozed off and on for the next two and a half hours. Dotty looked up and saw the doctor coming. She gently jostled Lee's shoulder and spoke softly to him. He was instantly awake. After a shared look, they both stood and looked at the doctor expectantly.

"Mr. Stetson," the doctor began. "She came through the surgery just fine. We were able to relieve the pressure and as far as we can tell, there was no further damage. We were able to get a good look at the skull fracture and it is not as bad as we first thought. She is still comatose and will probably remain so for some time. We have done all we can for her. Now, all we can do is wait and pray."

"Thank you, doctor. Can we see her?" asked Lee.

"Not yet. We need to get her out of recovery and settled in a room. You should be able to see her later this afternoon or this evening," the doctor said. "There's really nothing more you can do here. Go home. Get cleaned up. Have something to eat. Leave your number. We'll call if there is any change in her condition."

Lee looked at Dotty and she nodded. Lee looked down at himself and for the first time in hours he noticed that he still had on his blue ops jumpsuit. He touched the shoulder, still stained with Amanda's blood and the rest covered in brick dust and fine debris from the explosion. Though he was reluctant to leave Amanda, he needed food, rest, a shower and clean clothes. Besides, Amanda would never forgive herself if Lee pounded himself into the ground on her account, no matter how dire the circumstances.

So they went home and fortified themselves with bowls of Amanda's world class homemade chicken soup, while trying without success to keep their worry at bay. Lee showered and shaved and changed his clothes. As he stood before the mirror in the bathroom brushing his teeth, he thought that now that he felt human again, he would be able to handle whatever came down the pike. Late in the afternoon Dotty called the hospital and they were told that it was all right to visit Amanda. When Dotty asked about Amanda's condition, she was told there was no change.

Before they went back to the hospital, Dotty called Joe and filled him in on the extent of Amanda's injuries, the outcome of her surgery and her current condition. Joe thanked her and asked her to call if she heard anything more.

Later Lee stood with trepidation in the doorway of Amanda's hospital room. Only the strip light over Amanda's bed was on, so the light in the room was very dim. The heart monitor beat out its incessant and life affirming tattoo and the EEG drew mesmerizing lines on its monitor screen. She lay so still and pale, her left arm immobilized and her head bandaged. She had an oxygen tube that ran under her nose and over her ears, presumably to get more oxygen to her brain. Her head had been shaved and a large patch of her beautiful brown tresses was gone. Lee thought, _Even if she was completely bald, she would still be beautiful to me._

Lee sat in the chair next to the bed and held her right hand, careful of the IVs that gave her life sustaining hydration and nutrients. He sat there for a long time, holding her hand to his lips while his tears fell like rain. "I was the senior agent. I could have told you to stay there or put you with the backup team. I knew you didn't like not being in the thick of things. Your mother asked me why I would let you go into danger like that. I had no answer for her." Lee laid his head on the bed and continued to cry out his anguish and sorrow.

When Amanda had been comatose for four days, infection set in and her temperature spiked at 104.3°. They wrapped her in a special blanket with ice chambers all over it and Lee sat at her bedside around the clock and wiped her forehead, face and neck with a cool cloth. He desperately hoped that the antibiotics would work and he would not lose her.

Two days later her fever broke and Lee was relieved to see her temperature finally starting to come down. After a few more days the inflammation in her head wound began to subside. Dotty and Lee hugged each other fiercely, secure in the knowledge that their Amanda would stay with them at least a little while longer. Dotty was gratified when Billy slipped knockout drops into Lee's coffee. A major crisis averted, he collapsed on the chair and slept for 18 hours straight. They knew he would be angry when he awakened, but they would cross that bridge when they came to it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The van that carried TEAM 2 pulled up in an alleyway between the buildings. Amanda jumped down from the van, her combat boots scuffing the cobbles of the alleyway and walked with purposeful strides toward the back door of the building. The two operatives in front of her were picking the lock on the door. She glanced back and Francine was several yards behind her. She looked forward again and one of the operatives, apparently aware of her lock picking prowess, offered her the tool and stepped aside to allow her access. She got the door unlocked in record time. She moved back and looked back to signal Francine to be at the ready. She held her gun with both hands wrapped around it and pointed straight up near her right ear. As the operative pulled the door open, the whole world exploded.

For a moment Amanda had the sensation of flying through the air. She slammed into the wall and her head exploded. She felt a painful ripping in her shoulder, then a moment of excruciating pain while her body settled and then everything went black. It was not the grey-black unconsciousness of when she was shot. This was black as tar and much deeper. In her more adventuresome college days, she had tried a sensory deprivation tank. Being unconscious was much like that, but this darkness had a sinister quality to it.

Suddenly, she stood next to her crumpled body. As she stood there looking down at herself, she touched her chest. She knew that to herself she had form and substance and her body emitted a soft golden glow like muted sunlight. Her torn and dusty, bloodstained blue ops jumpsuit had been replaced by a flowing white robe cinched at the waist by a golden leather chevron belt. She glanced at her feet, which sported low heeled strappy golden leather sandals. She touched her left shoulder and her head and became aware that she had no wounds, no scars and no pain.

She became aware of a presence next to her and turned to look. There stood a man, tall and handsome as Lee, in a flowing white robe cinched at the waist with a long thick golden cord and brown leather Birkenstock styled sandals. He too emitted a golden glow much like muted sunlight. She looked pointedly at the man and then at her body as it lay unconscious on the ground.

"Am I dead? Are you an angel? Are you going to take me to Heaven?" Amanda asked.

"No my dear. You are not dead... at least not yet. You are comatose following a severe blow to the head and a skull fracture," the man intoned in a rich baritone. His voice had a familiar timbre and cadence to it, but it was pitched slightly lower. When he smiled and showed off killer dimples, she knew immediately who he was.

"You're Lee's father, aren't you? If you're an angel, where are your wings?" She asked as she looked into hazel eyes so much like her beloved Lee's.

"Yes, Amanda. I am Lee's father. You may call me Matt," he chuckled. "And I am what you would call an angelic being, but I don't have wings. Besides, wings are overrated. They're hard to take care of, they shed feathers all over the place and they're constantly getting in the way."

She watched as Lee crouched over her body and touched her neck, checking for a pulse. He sighed in relief when he felt her carotid pulse under his gently probing fingers and watched as her chest rhythmically rose and fell with her breathing. Amanda stood by as he and Ephraim tended to her wounds and waited for the ambulance to arrive. It was then she caught sight of Francine lying unconscious nearby.

"Will Francine be all right?" Amanda asked.

"She sustained a serious blow to the head and she has a serious concussion, but she will recover with no lasting effects," Matt said.

Matt cleared his throat to get her attention. He paused as though debating what to say next. "You know, I have been watching you and Lee the last several years. His mother and I are very proud of the man our son has become. We both agree that had a lot to do with you. You have a kind soul, a loving heart and a generous spirit. Lee was right when he said we would have loved you," he said and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder.

For the moment she did not dignify that with a response, as something else occurred to her. "Wait a minute. If I'm not dead... yet, then why are you here?" she said, her eyebrows puckering and her jaw tensing. Matt smiled and thought, _My Jenny would get that same look when she was trying to puzzle something out._

"I am here to guide and protect you on an important journey," said Matt.

Amanda showed her anxiety by chewing on her thumbnail for a moment before she asked, "What kind of journey would that be and why would I need to be protected?"

"I am here to show you how your life would have been if you had missed that fateful and pivotal moment in your life; the moment when you were supposed to meet Lee at the train station," Matt said.

"I knew when I met Lee that my life would change drastically. I somehow always knew that when he asked me to help him and I accepted, it would change my life and his in ways we never expected or even imagined. I have often wondered about my life and his had I not met him that day or he had chosen someone else to give the package to," Amanda rambled.

"As for protection," Matt explained. "You and Lee are important warriors in the battle to maintain the balance between good and evil in this world and to vanquish evil at every opportunity. There are supernatural forces which have been working to thwart your efforts at every turn and to take out either you or Lee would be a great feather in the cap of any demon who can accomplish it."

"Demons?" Amanda squeaked.

"Yes, demons. Lucifer's minions. They're like gremlins, but with a much more complex agenda," Matt said. "All those times you thought it was just bad timing, when things went wrong and delayed certain actions important to the growth of your relationship, it wasn't. It was demons trying to keep you from professing and consummating your love, because they knew that your love for each other would give you great strength and courage in the battle. Together, such strength and courage would make you almost invincible. My superiors believe this injury is a divide and conquer tactic on the part of the opposition."

Just then a slight movement caught Amanda's eye and she moved to stand by Lee as he crouched next to her body. She watched as Lee held her hand and whispered his regrets in a broken voice. She reached to smooth the hair back from his forehead as she had done at least a thousand times before and whispered, "I love you, Mr. Stetson. I know that you feel guilty. Don't feel guilty. If only you hadn't given me the package that day at the train station, I wouldn't be here right now. We've played this scene a hundred times before and the answer is always the same. I'm an adult and I knew the risks. No guts, no glory." She saw him bring her hand to his face and rub his cheek against it. She laid a comforting hand on his back and rubbed it in soothing circles.

Matt stayed her hand and pulled her back, as her hand reached out to touch him one more time. "He needs to be comforted. He needs to know that I love him," Amanda said, her voice rough with emotion.

"He can't hear or feel you, but he knows that you love him. It fairly shines from you every time you look at him or touch him. As for being comforted, he will be comforted by the family that you gave him. He will be in good hands," Matt said and took her by the upper arm. "Come now. We have so much to do, so much to see and so little time. Let us begin."

With that they faded through the brick wall in the alleyway. "I wish you would give me some kind of warning before you do that," Amanda groused as they materialized on the sidewalk in front of her house on Maplewood Drive.

Matt only smiled and shrugged, before he said, "I'll do my best."

Amanda caught sight of her station wagon in the driveway where her Jeep Wagoneer was usually parked. Something wasn't right.

Amanda asked, "What's the date today?" Even though she thought she could guess the answer.

"Today is October 2, 1983," Matt answered. "It's the evening before you are to leave to take Dan to the train station."

"Dean," Amanda corrected automatically, as she looked wistfully at the house that had been her home the better part of her adult life in the moments just before dusk. She inhaled sharply and materialized where she could see in the kitchen window, the same place Lee had appeared a thousand times or more it would seem. She looked down at the well grown garden that had not yet felt the trampling tread of Lee's feet.

"Now watch closely," Matt said as he drew her attention to the goings on in the kitchen.

She turned and watched the her of over five years ago cleaning up the kitchen after dinner and bantering with her mother.

"You will be put inside the body of this Amanda and you will live her life, with only a superficial knowledge of the life you knew. You will not be able to influence any decision that your other self makes, because it would violate the Timshel. Loosely translated from Hebrew, it means 'Thou mayest.' It is the ordinance of free will," Matt explained.

Amanda said, "That's asking too much." She turned to walk away, not really knowing where she would go.

Matt caught her by the elbow to draw her back. "It is better than the alternative. If you do this, you and Lee will be richly rewarded," he said.

"You would let me die?" Amanda squeaked and jostled loose of his grip.

"That is a decision for others much higher up than me to make," Matt said. "You know, this is my first field assignment in over a decade. I requested this assignment and I assure you that my motive was very personal. I wanted to get to know you better; the extraordinary woman who captured my son's heart, tamed his wild spirit and soothed his restless soul." Then he stood very still and looked deeply into her eyes.

Amanda only had a few seconds to contemplate what Matt had just said before she froze under his scrutiny and got the distinct impression that he looked not only into her eyes, but into her very soul. After a moment or two he nodded and smiled that familiar thousand megawatt smile. Apparently, he had searched her soul and had not found her wanting.

"It has been said that Lee trusts you with his life and would follow you blind through a blizzard at midnight. His trust is not misplaced. He sees in you inner strength, unyielding courage, and iron will, but there is also a softness, a gentleness, a certain vulnerability about you that makes him want, no need, to protect you with his very life. He truly is your knight in shining armor."

Upon hearing this, Amanda blinked and having made a decision, she looked up. "Okay, the sooner I get through this, the sooner I can get back to my life with Lee and my family."

Matt shifted slightly and said, "This is not something to get through and cast aside like a bad dream. It is something to learn from and live accordingly. You will not be alone on your journey. As I said, I will be around to guide and protect you. When your other self is asleep or unconscious, you will be aware of yourself and I will be nearby. You have only to call for me and I will appear."

Amanda drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly; she did this three times. It went a long way toward calming and centering her. She looked up at Matt, her demeanor completely calm and serene and said, "I'm ready now. Do what you have to do."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 _Monday Morning, October 3, 1983, Amanda's House_

Amanda awoke with a start and sat up in bed. She glanced at the clock on the nightstand, which read 7:03 am. She closed her eyes and shook her head as though to clear it. She stretched and groaned, then she rubbed her stomach and thought, _Shouldn't have had that extra helping of lasagna last night. Such strange dreams._ She gathered the bedclothes about her as she mentally compiled a to do list of all the things she needed to do today, the most important of which was to pick up Dean and take him to the train station.

She harrumphed deep in her throat and got out of bed. Amanda didn't feel like going to a lot of trouble with her appearance this morning, so she half-heartedly drew a brush through her hair and left her face devoid of makeup. She drew on a pair of socks and stuffed her feet into a pair of leather boots. Then, she threw on her long camel wool coat over her nightgown as she came down the stairs.

The kitchen was controlled chaos as she entered and grabbed her purse and an umbrella. She hurriedly poured a cup of coffee, stirred in a teaspoon or two of sugar and hastily downed a few slugs of it. Then, she exchanged good mornings with her mother on the other side of the breakfast bar and kissed each of her boys on the head, while she listened to the light hearted banter between her mother and the boys. She continued to sip her coffee and waited inevitably for her mother to drop yet another hint about when she was going to marry Dean.

When it came, she sighed with exasperation. "Mo-ther," she said, drawing out the name. "My divorce has only been final a little over a year and I'm not ready to get married again. Give me some time to get my wits about me and figure out my life again. You know, if there was someone special in your life, I wouldn't be pressuring you to get married again, because I know that you loved Daddy very much and he would only want the very best for you."

Chagrined, Dotty pursed her lips and continued whatever it was she was doing in studied silence.

Amanda glanced at her watch and said, "I gotta go, guys. Be good at school. Here's some money for lunch. Bring back the change and no extra desserts. Got me?"

"Ah, Mom!" Phillip and Jamie groaned before she hugged both of them and made her way to the front door.

She picked up Dean and took him to the train station, but considering her state of dress, she decided not to get out of the car. So they bantered for a few minutes until it was time for Dean to board the train.

"You know, Dean. I am still looking for work. Are there any openings at the weather bureau where you work?" Amanda asked.

Dean smiled good-naturedly and said, "Maybe, but I only hire people that marry me."

Amanda guffawed and slapped at him playfully. Then she reached to touch his face as he leaned toward her to kiss her goodbye. "Bye, Dean. See you tomorrow night," she said, as Dean gathered his briefcase and scrambled out of the passenger seat. She watched his progress and as he moved away from her, she caught sight of a man dressed in a rumpled white waiter's uniform carrying a package wrapped in brown paper. His behavior was quite suspicious as he glanced about warily, while making his way down the train platform. She thought she had seen the man somewhere before, but at the moment she could not place him.

Amanda lost sight of the suspicious man, as Dean waved from the doorway of the train just before it began to move down the track. Amanda waved back and started her car. She backed out of her parking space and made her way home, the suspicious man in the waiter uniform lost in the jumble of thought that comprised Amanda's day to day life.

A few days later she had an interview with Honeycutt Typewriter and she got the job. They seemed impressed by her typing speed: 90 words per minute not counting typos. However, her boss seemed very solicitous of her attention, which she rebuffed at every opportunity. Though she knew that she danced very close to getting fired every time she did rebuff him, her work record and her production rate spoke for itself.

So her days fell into sort of a pattern. She earned a decent living along with the child support Joe paid her and she filled her evenings and days off with dates with Dean and outings with the boys, PTA and charity events, Junior Trailblazers, coaching the boys' baseball team and tennis lessons. Though her life was full and she enjoyed her time with Dean and the boys, she got the distinct impression that her life lacked something. For quite some time she could not put her finger on exactly what that something was. Then one day it hit her like a club between the eyes. Her life was boring and mundane and to put it bluntly, her life lacked excitement.

For Valentine's Day Dean took Amanda to dinner at Spencer's. Since they usually dined at less upscale restaurants, Amanda was aware of something on the wind. She thought her assumption might be correct when, after they had eaten dinner and the dishes had been cleared away, Dean laid a single red rose in front of her. He ordered champagne and they entwined their arms as they sipped from crystal champagne flutes. Amanda's eyes grew wide, when Dean reached into the breast pocket of his suit coat and withdrew a small silver grey velvet box. Amanda inhaled sharply and her eyes grew even wider, when Dean knelt by her chair and opened the box to reveal an engagement ring with a very large solitaire diamond.

He took her hand and drew in a deep breath, before he looked up to catch her surprised gaze with his own indulgent one. "Amanda," Dean began and cleared his throat. His voice quieted slightly as he said, "Will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

Amanda chewed the nail of her right thumb with a vengeance as she contemplated what Dean had just asked. Dean was still, waiting on tenterhooks, listening intently to the next thing she would say. She let go of a breath she hadn't been aware she had been holding with a slow exhale and said softly, her voice a little more gravelly than usual, "Yes, Dean. I'll marry you."

Dean smiled and took the ring from the box to put it on her finger. Though it fit perfectly, the weight of the ring on her finger just did not feel right. She reasoned that she hadn't worn a ring on that finger for quite some time and she just needed to get used to it again.

Her attention was drawn away from her study of the beautiful solitaire diamond Dean had given her, as he rose from his crouched position to claim her lips in a very passionate kiss. By the time Dean finally drew away and returned to his seat on the other side of the table, Amanda's cheeks had grown hot and red with embarrassment, since Dean was usually averse to shows of affection in public beyond holding hands and sometimes not even that.

Dean cocked his head slightly to one side as he smiled and took her hand. He fiddled nervously with the ring, flipping it back and forth with his thumb. Amanda smiled back, her heart beating a rapid tattoo as she examined the ramifications of what she had just done. She began to think about how different she and Dean were.

Dean McGuire came from old money. He grew up in a cavernous mausoleum of a mansion, attended boarding school from the age of nine and had a passing relationship with his parents, which Amanda would term as decidedly cold, since he had been raised mostly by nannies. He would have been considered a trust fund kid had he not used that money to go to college and get a Master's degree and certification in Meteorology.

Whereas Amanda came from staunch middle class blue collar stock. She grew up in a house not unlike the one she had lived in the better part of her adult life. Though small, but comfortable and homey, it had looked and felt like real people lived there. She had happily attended public school and had a very "Beaver Cleaveresque" upbringing. She was raised by her parents, a stay at home mother and a hard working father and this had given her a strong, almost fanatical, sense of family. She had a very close and loving relationship with her father and missed him terribly when he passed. Though as an adult having her mother live with her could be trying at times, Amanda loved her mother to pieces and would not have had it any other way. Her parents had had to struggle to afford to send her to college even with the scholarships she had earned. It still made her feel guilty at times, all that her parents had sacrificed to send her to school and she had yet to use her degree in any way, form or fashion.

Would Dean be happy living with a middle-class suburban housewife or would he turn her into a snobby upper class socialite like his mother? Would her sons, raised with hard working middle-class values, be turned into spoiled, hell raising trust fund kids with the world laid at their feet and anything they wanted at their fingertips?

She looked up at Dean suddenly as something occurred to her. She did not want to continue supplementing her meager earnings from Honeycutt Typewriter with child support from Joe and she certainly didn't want to rely entirely on Dean for her subsistence. She wanted to do something significant with the degree that her parents had sacrificed so much to give her. She withdrew her hand from Dean's albeit gentle grasp and clapped both of her hands on her thighs.

"A-man-da?" Dean asked, drawing out her name and looking at her quizzically. He had been watching Amanda for the past few minutes as an entire spectrum of emotions had played across her face. Though he was aware that Amanda had come to an important decision about something, he only hoped that she still wanted to marry him.

"Dean," Amanda began and licked her lips before she continued. "I've made an important decision about what I want to do with my life and I hope you'll agree." She took both of his hands in hers. Her gaze unwavering as she looked into his eyes, she said, "I want to go back to college and get my Master's degree in American Literature and English. I want to teach at the college level."

Dean looked a bit bewildered for a moment and said, "Amanda, this is the 80's. I know I have a few old fashioned values, but you won't be chained to the stove and kept barefoot and pregnant. You are a very strong and independent woman. I know that since you and Joe divorced, and for many years before that for that matter, you have been working and raising your boys and doing the best you can alone. You're not alone anymore, my sweet beautiful girl. Whatever you choose to do, I'll support you to the best of my ability."

Dean blinked. _Was that all?_ he thought. He smiled and brought her hands to his lips. "Anything you want. Anything at all," he said, shaking his head. After a pause, "Anything else, while I'm in such a magnanimous mood?" he asked, the humor in his voice evident.

Amanda's fingers played with her engagement ring, flipping it back and forth, much as Dean had done only moments before. Dean shifted impatiently in his seat, as Amanda fidgeted, knowing she would speak in her own good time.

Finally, she took a very deep breath and just said it. "I want to have more children. I want a little girl." Her attention was fixated on their entwined hands and Dean extricated one of his to curl a finger under her chin and get her to look at him.

"Now was that so hard?" he asked. His jaw had tightened imperceptibly and his eyes sparkled with a hard brilliance, but Amanda didn't notice.

"I didn't know how you would react. I just... I just...," she said, her voice little more than a whisper.

"That reminds me... with me there to take up the slack; your mother can go and live her own life now. She won't be tied down anymore. You and the boys have monopolized her life long enough," said Dean.

"Mother loves living with us and she loves her garden. She has never felt like she was tied down while she was living with me. She loves being able to see her grandchildren every day and watch them grow. In fact she told me that she feels lucky and considers it a privilege that she can see her grandsons every day, especially since many of her friends go for weeks and months or even years and don't see theirs," Amanda said, her voice taking on a vehement edge.

"It was just a thought. We don't have to hammer out our whole lives tonight," Dean said, taken aback. He looked at his watch. "Besides, it's getting late. What do you say, I take you home and we break the news to your mother and the boys?"

He got up from his seat and picked up the rose to offer it to her. Then he dropped several bills on the table, enough to cover the tab and a generous tip and offered her his hand to help her from her seat. Just before they left the table, Dean picked up the ring box and tucked it in his pocket. At the coat check, Dean dutifully helped Amanda on with her coat and then they went to wait while the valet retrieved Dean's BMW.

When they got to Amanda's house, it was completely dark. The only light on was in the front entryway, as though all the occupants had gone to sleep long before. Amanda fidgeted nervously with her keys as she unlocked the front door. "Would you at least like to come in for a nightcap? I think I might have some decent vintage red wine in the fridge," Amanda offered.

Dean shrugged and said, "I wouldn't want to disturb anyone. Anyway, it's been a pretty long day. I'm kind of tired and you look kind of tired, too." With that he touched her face and brought her to him for a brief but passionate kiss. With a breathless, "Goodnight, Dean." from Amanda, he turned to leave.

Amanda watched as he sauntered down the front walk to his car parked just beyond the gate. Her fingers found their way to her lips and she smiled quirkily, when she noticed a certain macho swagger in his step.

She shook her head as she turned to open the door and go in the house at last. She closed the door behind her and leaned against it, her heart suddenly racing and her breathing rapid. She closed her eyes and slowly slid down the door. When she felt her bottom hit the top step, she sighed and rolled the back of her head against the wood of the door. She moaned low in her throat and whispered, "What have I done? What have I done?" It was a long time before she found the energy to get up and drag herself up the stairs to bed, where she tossed and turned and slept very little.

The next morning Amanda awakened with a start and grabbed her head as she abruptly sat up in bed. _What is it about champagne that does it to me every time?_ When her head stopped spinning, she glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It read 6:47 am. She felt kind of headachy and nauseous, too. She wasn't hung over by any stretch of the imagination, but perhaps the surprise and shock precipitated by the events of the evening before had definitely thrown her system for a loop. _On the other hand,_ she thought. _I hope I'm not coming down with anything. I really can't afford to get sick right now._

Later, Amanda felt almost human again after a shower and a dose of Alka-Seltzer®, which she slammed down in one breath. _Horrible tasting stuff, but it works every time._ When at last Amanda came downstairs, she made her way down the last few steps from the landing into the kitchen and she missed a step and stumbled. _Seems like Amanda's attention had evidently been caught by something sparkly on her left hand_ , Dotty surmised, smiling knowingly from her usual spot on the other side of the breakfast bar.

Amanda hastily tucked her hand in her jacket pocket in a futile attempt to hide the evidence of her activities the night before. She quickly kissed the boys and sent them off to school. Then she stood for a moment or two on the front porch with her arms wrapped around herself, watching the boys as they meandered toward the street. She tried without success to calm herself before she faced the full scale inquiry she was certain her mother would launch. After another minute or so, she drew in a deep calming breath and went back inside.

Glancing around surreptitiously to make certain that the boys were gone, Dotty smiled at Amanda from the other side of the breakfast bar. _The calm before the storm,_ Amanda thought, girding for the first volley, as Dotty's eyes flicked to her left hand curled uncharacteristically inside her jacket pocket once more. _Here it comes._

"Dean took you to Spencer's last night. Was there anything special he wanted to ask you?" she prodded, deliberately trying to get a rise out of Amanda.

Amanda placed both hands on the counter and leaned slightly forward, before she said, a bit huffily, "Yes, we went to Spencer's last night, but anything beyond that is none of your business for the time being."

"What is that expression the boys use? Oh, yes. BUSTED!" Dotty chuckled and inclined her head toward Amanda's left hand splayed on the counter, the diamond engagement ring exposed for the entire world to see. Amanda smiled self-consciously, picked up her hand from the counter and folded it back inside her jacket pocket. Then she closed her eyes and shook her head. She let out a long sigh and sat down on a stool at the breakfast bar.

After a moment Dotty shook her head and sighed as well. She came from the other side of the breakfast bar to where Amanda sat and enfolded her in a motherly embrace. Amanda's forehead came to rest on Dotty's shoulder and Dotty stroked Amanda's back as though she were a small child instead of the grown woman she was. "What is it, my darling girl?" she whispered.

Amanda silently rolled her head back and forth and sighed so heavily that it made her shoulders shrug. She took another deep breath and began to sob. Dotty just held onto her and let her cry. It was rare indeed to see Amanda break down like this. She was usually so strong.

Then it occurred to Dotty that Amanda was always the strong one, never for a moment showing weakness or vulnerability. She had thought that Amanda had never really spared the time or the energy to truly grieve her father's passing or the end of her marriage with Joe. In the last several years she had had to be strong for way too long for her sons, for her and for herself. When she moved in with Amanda, Dotty had hoped that with her around to take some of the burden and worry of raising the boys upon herself, maybe Amanda wouldn't need to worry and stress out so much. She had been wrong.

Amanda raised her head and wiped at her face with the heel of her hand until Dotty handed her a tea towel. Amanda gave her a teary-eyed smile and took another deep breath. She held up her hand as though to say, "Gimme a moment and I'll be okay." Dotty, misinterpreting her gesture, grabbed her hand to have a closer look at the ring.

Amanda swallowed and shook her head as though to clear it. When she could speak again, she said, "As you can see, Dean asked me to marry him last night and I said yes."

"I hear a 'but' coming," said Dotty, as she sat next to Amanda and reached to play thoughtfully with a loose strand of hair for a moment before she tucked it behind Amanda's ear. "Talk to me. I may not have all the answers, but I'm told I'm a pretty good listener."

"Well, Mother," Amanda began. "I'm very fond of Dean, but I don't think that I'm in love with him and worse, I don't think that I'll get a better offer. He's okay with me going back to school to get my Master's degree so I can teach at the college level and he's okay with me having more children. I want so much to have a little girl of my own."

Dotty threw up her hands in exasperation and asked, "So what's not to love?"

At this Amanda could only shake her head and sigh, just as exasperated as her mother. Then she looked at her watch, groaned and kissed her mother on the cheek. "Thanks for listening, Mother. I really do appreciate it," she said. Amanda barely heard Dotty as she softly said, "Any time, dear." And then she was gone, off to another trying day at work.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

It had been almost two weeks and still no sign that Amanda was going to wake up. After the infection scare, she seemed to be holding her own and her wounds seemed to be healing nicely with no further signs of infection in her surgical or her other head wound. Billy had taken Lee off the active duty roster for the time being and put him on paid family leave until further notice, knowing from long experience that Lee could not function properly as an agent if he was worried about Amanda all the time.

Francine had regained consciousness a few hours after arriving at the hospital and had recovered enough from her concussion to return to work. However, she would hold a grudge against Billy for a long while after he pulled her from the field and put her on light duty working with Fred Fielder for six weeks, much to Francine's disgust. Billy couldn't help but smile at this, whenever he thought of it. Billy, more than anyone, understood that Francine, for all her skill as an agent, tended to get too big for her britches and still needed to be taken down a notch or two every once in awhile. Besides, maybe poor old Fred might learn something useful while working with Francine. One never knows about these things.

Lee sat next to Amanda's bed hour after hour and read to her. He had begun with Phillip's copy of _Sky Chief Rides Again_ and was now steadily working his way through every book of any interest on the bookshelves in the family room, mostly American and English classics from when Amanda was a literature major at UVA, plus some she had collected on her own. Lee found out that Amanda owned the first five of the 14 Oz books by L. Frank Baum and had put out feelers at several local bookstores to find the rest. _Price no object. That ought to set a fire under someone's tail,_ Lee thought. Dotty had told him that she had a line on at least four more at the moment.

Sometimes, when his throat grew too hoarse to read, he would just sit and watch her with his head cocked to one side, his eyes sparkling with love and hope. It was at these times that he prayed more fervently than he had ever prayed in all his life and willed her with his whole being to wake up and be well.

The doctor had told him that as severe as her head injury was, she would probably come out of the coma with significant changes in her personality, her intellect, her memory and her motor skills. Lee didn't care. All he knew was that he loved her and he wanted her back any way he could have her. Anything was better than losing her all together, which he knew without a doubt would surely kill him as well.

Dotty visited frequently while the boys were in school and tried to tempt Lee with her best cooking, which he would pick at and rarely finish. She would sit with Amanda while Lee showered, shaved and changed clothes. Then he would return, unwilling to leave Amanda's side until the next time Dotty appeared. Finally, the doctor approved a cot in Amanda's room, knowing it would be wasted breath to get Lee to leave his beloved wife's side. If Lee's mother-in-law and boss couldn't do it, then he probably didn't have a snowball's chance in Hell.

Sometimes, Lee would just hold her hand and tell her about the places they would go and the things they would do, not if but when she awakened from her coma. He talked about taking a second honeymoon, since their first one had been cut short, when Amanda acquired a bullet wound in her shoulder. Anywhere she wanted to go; maybe a cuisine or art tour of Italy, a wine tour of France, Munich during Oktoberfest, Monte Carlo during Carnivale, a cruise to the Caribbean or the Bahamas, a river cruise down the Rhine or the Danube, or perhaps taking Emily up on her offer of showing them the British Isles. He talked about the improvements he wanted to make on the house or maybe they could find another house with more room. He talked about buying a couple of horses and boarding them for the boys to take care of and ride. He talked about getting the boys a dog. And with tears in his eyes, he talked about having a child of their own. He voiced the possibility that it may not be possible, but he had hope.

LSAKLSAKLSAK

Amanda stood in her bedroom and just seethed. She gripped the hair over her ears and trotted in place and squealed, she was so infuriated. Their wedding plans were slowly turning into a huge nightmare. The simple church ceremony with family and close friends had turned into the society event of the D.C. Spring season in a cathedral for more than 300 guests. Dean's mother was determined that their wedding should rate the society page of the _Washington Herald_ and every other newspaper worth its salt within a hundred mile radius.

And her wedding dress, what could she say about that? It would be a handmade designer original and would cost almost as much as the remaining mortgage on her house! Just the thought of touching it made her heart rate accelerate and the breath to catch in her throat. Their wedding rings would also be designer originals, each one costing twice as much as her station wagon. And she didn't even want to think about her hair, makeup and nails and the other jewelry she would be wearing.

She shook her head and collapsed on the bed. With a huge groan she lay back and closed her eyes. She covered her face with her arm and just lay there, trying without success to calm herself. After awhile she did calm down. She curled up under the quilt she kept folded at the foot of her bed and drifted into a light sleep. That was how Dotty found her sometime later.

Dotty gently jostled her shoulder and softly called her name, "Amanda? Amanda?" Amanda groaned and moved her arm. Then she raised her head and looked around. She blinked and caught sight of her mother standing silently beside the bed, her arms folded over her chest.

"You know, Mother. If I was another kind of person that didn't care about setting a good moral example for my sons, I would go out right now and get rip roaring drunk," Amanda said, a forefinger wiggling in the air and then stabbing the bed for emphasis, her tone matter of fact, her expression absolutely serious. Dotty remained silent for a moment or two more, though she could barely keep from smiling at her daughter's latest pronouncement and kept her face neutral with some difficulty. Still, it was hard to see her baby girl in such distress.

Amanda sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, the quilt still drawn about her as though for comfort, if not for warmth. Dotty sat down next to her and regarded her with eyes sparkling with love. Dotty placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and asked, "Come now, dear. What is it that has you so frustrated?"

"It's everything, Mother. Absolutely everything," Amanda said, her fisted hands banging the bed on either side of her thighs, an edge of frustration in her voice.

She took a deep calming breath before she asked, "What exactly do you mean by 'everything'?"

Amanda sighed and forcefully ticked each item off on her fingers, "It's Dean's mother and her agenda to get our wedding in the society pages of every newspaper worth its salt from here to Des Moines. It's the rings and the dress, designer originals that cost more than the remaining mortgage on this house. It's the fact that our plan for a small church ceremony with family and close friends has turned into a spring event, a ceremony in a cathedral for over 300 people. I don't know if I can handle much more of this. I don't belong in that world, Mother. When it comes right down to it, I think I belong right here, where I've been all along."

Dotty pulled her into a tight embrace and rested her chin on top of Amanda's head. "Oh, my poor poor little girl. Let me tell you a story about when your daddy and I got married," Dotty said softly.

Dotty stroked Amanda's hair and rubbed Amanda's back as she told her about Carl's parents and how they had a little bit of money. Since Carl was the eldest son, they wanted to show off a little bit. She told her how a simple backyard ceremony performed by a local minister and a beautiful dress she had made herself with her mother's help that turned into a huge church ceremony performed by a minister flown in from New York, because he had performed Carl's parents' wedding ceremony and a store bought dress with a three foot train in Victorian style with pearls and lace.

"Oh, yes. I know all too well what you're going through," Dotty commiserated.

"Oh, Mother. I never knew," Amanda whispered, her words somewhat muffled, because she just didn't feel like mustering the energy to raise her head at the moment.

"So you see, my darling girl, you are not alone in this," said Dotty as she continued to rub soothing circles on Amanda's back.

Amanda and Dotty were silent for a little while, each lost in thought. Finally, Amanda straightened and shook her head. "Do you really think I'll survive this, Mother?" Amanda asked.

Dotty laughed humorlessly. Then she said, "You will survive this and much much more, I guarantee it. Look at what you've already come through. This is a temporary thing. Just roll with it long enough to get past it and then you can get on with the rest of your life."

"Good advice, Mother," Amanda said and kissed her on the cheek.

Dotty laid a gentle hand on her shoulder and said, "Thank you, dear. They might be few and far between, but I still have my moments."

Amanda glanced at the clock on the nightstand and said, "It's late. Are the boys at home?"

"They've been home for a few hours. They're supposed to be doing their homework. I told them you'd had a tough day and not to disturb you on pain of death," Dotty chuckled. "Mr. Chicken or Marvelous Marvin's for dinner?"

They looked at each other and both said at the same time, "Let's let the boys decide."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

It had been over three weeks now and Amanda still showed no signs of waking from her coma. Lee trudged through each day, putting one foot in front of the other. Billy came to the hospital as often as his busy schedule would allow, most of the time more to check on Lee than to see how Amanda was doing.

The pattern that had been established weeks ago continued. Lee read until his throat grew hoarse, though he didn't know whether she could even hear him. Dotty came to sit with Amanda a few hours each day while the boys were in school to give Lee a break. Lee rarely slept, rarely ate more than a few mouthfuls at a time and had to be forced to leave Amanda's side.

Each day that passed, a little bit of hope that his beloved Amanda would come back to him was lost, but Lee held onto what hope he had with a tenacious grip. Every day he watched Amanda with eyes sparkling with love and bright with unshed tears. And each day that passed, he died a little bit more inside.

Sometimes he wished he could just go and get falling down, passed out drunk. Though he longed for the sweet oblivion alcohol afforded, he also knew that it would do him little good and the consequences far outweighed the benefits, if there were any. It would dull his senses and kill the pain, but only for a little while and not nearly long enough by his estimation.

Lee had lost weight and his eyes grew duller day by day. One day, as Dotty came into the room, she stood still in the doorway to listen as Lee held Amanda's hand and pleaded with her. "Come on, Amanda. It's been almost a month. Please wake up and come back to me," he said, tears in his eyes. "I don't care if you have changed. I'll take you any way I can have you. I love you no matter what. I'm here, Amanda. I promise to be here when you wake up. I promise."

Dotty cleared her throat and Lee glanced up guilty. "Lee," she said and moved to place a gentle hand on his shoulder. "She'll wake up when it is time for her to wake up and not a moment before. I have accepted that, but I don't have to like it."

"Dotty, I want her to wake up and smile at me and look at me with those incredibly beautiful brown eyes," Lee said. He shook his head and sighed. "I want to believe I haven't lost her. I have to believe she will come back to us."

With that Lee stood up and drew Dotty into a fierce hug. They stood like that for a long time, each drawing strength from the other, each praying silently that this nightmare would end soon and their beloved Amanda would come back to them and her sons.

LSAKLSAKLSAK

Amanda's wedding day arrived and she got through it by smiling and gritting her teeth. She knew that her wedding day should have been a day of joy, but she would later equate it to a visit to the dentist to have a root canal without anesthetic. By the end of the day she thought she may have acquired definition in her jaw muscles like a body builder from clenching her teeth so much.

In the absence of her father, her boys walked her down the aisle, Phillip on her left and Jamie on her right. They looked so handsome in their black tuxedos. When the minister asked, "Who gives this woman to be wed?" Phillip spoke up and said, "Her mother and her sons do." Then Phillip and Jamie each kissed her on the cheek and went to sit with her mother. Glancing out over the crowd, Amanda noted that her family and friends numbered little more than a dozen and took up the front two rows on the left. The rest of the huge cathedral was taken up by Dean's family, friends and family business associates.

The rest of the ceremony went by in a blur and at the end of it, Dean kissed her, but it held no passion, no spark. She remembered reaching to wipe her lipstick from his lips with the pad of her thumb and got a flash of another wedding when she did the same thing, a nervous embarrassed smile on her face, her groom gazing at her with hazel eyes sparkling with humor. She shook her head to clear it and only half heard the minister introduce them as Mr. and Mrs. Dean McGuire. Then Dean offered his arm and they walked back down the aisle to be pelted with rice and get into the waiting limo that would take them to the country club for the reception.

By the end of the day, she had shaken so many hands and been introduced to so many people that her head was fairly spinning. Add to that the champagne that flowed like water and toasts too numerous to count and Amanda was more than tipsy for the first time since her college sorority days.

In a moment of quiet she was able to get her wits about her and she had flashes of another wedding, but not the same one as before, and neither was to Joe. It was to someone else that she did not immediately recognize. She shook her head to clear it of these unexpected and inexplicable images. Big mistake, since her head spun with even greater intensity. She gripped the door jamb in front of her to steady herself before she slowly glanced around in search of Dean.

Dean came up behind her as she continued to hold her head and grip the door jamb. He grabbed her upper arm and whipped her around to face him. Caught off guard, Amanda stumbled and fell against him, grabbing his arms to keep from sliding to the floor. Dean grabbed her arms and thrust her from him, a look of disgust playing about his already disgruntled features. "You're drunk. Are you trying to disgrace me in front of all of my family and friends? Come with me," he clipped, gripping her upper arm roughly and dragging her with him.

He took her to the ladies room and thrust her inside. "Make yourself presentable, darling." He spat the word as though it were an expletive, instead of an endearment. "Some of our guests are leaving and we need to make a proper impression," he hissed.

Amanda stumbled through the door and grabbed the edge of the counter to keep from falling down and ruining her precious dress. She rubbed the place on her arm where Dean had grabbed it, sure that there would be bruise imprints of his fingers there tomorrow.

As she fixed her face, she stared into the mirror and sighed heavily. Who would have thought that Dean McGuire, the mild mannered weatherman, could be so cruel? _Oh, my gosh. What have I gotten myself into and how am I going to get myself out?_ she thought. She held up her left hand to study the elaborate and overly ostentatious wedding set that graced her finger. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror one more time and set her shoulders. _Bring it on, Dean. I'm a lot stronger than I look. Do what you want to me. I can handle it. But you lay one hand on my boys or my mother and you will regret it. Count on it_. Then she nodded, set her jaw and thrust out her chin in defiance.

Her face fixed and feeling a bit calmer and steadier and more sober, she girded herself for battle and made her way to the door. To meet her destiny or her doom, she did not know, but she would get through it, somehow.

Dean had made reservations for them at the Potomac Plaza for the weekend. As she lay in contemplation following her first sexual encounter with Dean, a phrase came to mind. _"And frankly, Ricky Joe, sex with you was always a major disappointment."_ She had no idea where that had come from and she had no idea who Ricky Joe was.

After their weekend at the Potomac Plaza they both went back to work. Dean moved in and he and Dotty barely tolerated each other. After a short time, Dotty moved out to a retirement village nearby. Dotty knew it was for the best, but she was unhappy not being able to see her grandsons every day. From there their lives took on a pattern and Amanda found her life to be even more predictable and boring than ever, if that were possible.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Amanda applied to UVA and she was accepted into the Master's degree program for the fall semester, 1984, much to her mother's pride and Dean's unhappiness. She knew in her heart that her daddy would have been proud, too. It would take her nearly three years and countless hours of study, but it was a challenge she was ready to take on and that she had put off for way too long. Knowing she could not work and go to school full time, with everything else she had to do, she quit her job at Honeycutt Typewriter.

In her spare time, which was very spare indeed, she tried her hand at writing. She wrote screwball comedy spy novels under the pen name A. J. West. She had no idea where the inspiration for her writing came from, only that it flowed from a well spring of experience, perhaps from another life. Her first novel to be accepted for publication took her just over six months to write and netted her an upper five figure advance and a contract for two more books. It was entitled _To London with Love_ and starred her alter ego, Mavis "Pepper" Culpepper and her sometime associate Harrison "Sonny" Griggs, who seemed to attract trouble like a magnet to steel wherever he went. They traveled to exotic places, did incredible things and met extraordinary people. Pepper and Sonny led exciting and dangerous lives and did all the things Amanda wanted to do but couldn't.

When she and Dean had been married just over two years and she was starting her last year of college, Amanda found out she was pregnant. When she told Dean, he let on that he wasn't unhappy about it, but he thought the timing was bad, since Amanda was in her last year of college and she would be just over seven months pregnant when she graduated. He suggested aborting the baby in the interest of finishing school and finding a job without encumbrances. Amanda realized with no small amount of resentment that Dean saw their child as a badly timed inconvenience to be gotten rid of at the earliest opportunity.

She flatly refused, stating that this might be her last chance at having another baby, since she was getting older and her biological clock was ticking very loudly. Dean only shook his head and said, "It's your funeral." Upon later introspection Amanda found that it was in that moment that she had lost all respect and trust in Dean, especially after he had endorsed the notion of having another child. From then on they began to drift apart.

As Amanda got further along in her pregnancy, Dean found her less and less attractive and became more and more vocal about how unattractive her pregnancy made her. If the lady doth protest too much, she got backhanded across the face with a closed fist and knocked to the floor for good measure. Not a week went by that she didn't have at least one bruise somewhere on her body, usually bruise imprints of his fingers on her upper arms or forearms, where he grabbed her and bruises on other parts of her body, when he pushed her or backhanded her and she fell. Dotty knew nothing of this and embarrassed and ashamed, Amanda would never tell her.

When she was a little more than five months along, Dean was very late getting home from work and he was not answering the phone in his office. She knew he wrapped up his weather reports for the local television and radio stations early in the evening and since there was no severe weather to report on, he should have been home or at least called. She had heard nothing from him since he had left for work that morning. Finally, she called her mother to look after the boys and went to his office at the weather bureau to find him.

She found herself outside of Dean's office and raised her hand to knock on the door. She paused when she heard voices, one she recognized as Dean's and the other voice was female, but unfamiliar. They were discussing the next Meteorological Society convention and how they would both be there. Dean said that his wife would be unable to attend since she would be well into her third trimester of pregnancy and her doctor would advise against her traveling, especially by air.

Trying the knob and finding the door unlocked, Amanda took a deep breath and opened the door. Dean and his assistant, a twenty something blonde with big breasts, everything Amanda wasn't, were half naked on the couch. From the look of things they had just had sex. Dean looked up and said, "Amanda, I can explain." But his voice held not even a shred of remorse, contrition or apology. He hurriedly zipped his pants and slung his shirt on, but Amanda had already turned around and was out the door at a dead run.

Upon seeing Dean, Amanda's hand covered her mouth and she let out a pained squeak. Then she turned and ran down the hall, her breath coming in great gulping gasps. She stopped for a moment to catch her breath and finally made it to the elevator bank. After she pressed the call button, she promptly burst into tears. She stepped onto the elevator and caught sight of Dean, bare feet, shirt unbuttoned, belt undone and hair mussed, through the closing doors. Too late, he put his hand out to stop the doors from closing.

When the elevator reached the bottom floor, Amanda stepped out and leaned an arm against the wall. She rested her head there and draped her other arm over her belly, just now beginning to show a burgeoning roundness with her advancing pregnancy. After a few minutes, she made her way to her car and sat in the driver's seat with her forehead resting between her hands on the steering wheel. She was fairly certain Dean had not followed her, another indication of what little regard or respect he had for her and their unborn child. She was still hyperventilating and she knew she couldn't make it home safely in her current state of mind. She would not only endanger herself, but her unborn baby as well.

When she was finally able to drive, she drove around for hours trying to calm down and clear her head. She knew without a doubt that Dean would be at home waiting for her. She made it home and when she came into the family room, Dean was there waiting. He had been pacing and he turned to face her.

"What do you want me to say? That I'm sorry. That it was all a mistake and it will never happen again," he said, his words dripping with sarcasm.

"You callous insensitive bastard!" Amanda screamed. "How could you do that, knowing that you have a wife at home pregnant with your child?"

Amanda did not see it coming and could not have braced or protected herself from the blow, as Dean lashed out. The back of his fisted right hand caught her on the side of the head and propelled her backward. She landed on the carpeted floor with a resounding thud. Amanda lay very still for a moment while she assessed whether she or the baby was injured or not. After a few more moments, she rolled and carefully sat up.

"I never wanted the kid in the first place," Dean screamed back, his face turning a mottled red, as he stood over her, his hands still curled in tight fists.

Dean lashed out again and Amanda rocked sideways with the blow. She struck the side of her head on the coffee table and his class ring left a deep gash in her cheekbone. She shook her head and sat up again with great effort. She held her head and groaned, as pain thundered through it.

"No, of course not. You were just so selfish and arrogant," Amanda continued through gritted teeth and at the top of her lungs. Then, she blinked and examined the hand that came away from her head covered with blood as though it belonged to someone else.

Dean inhaled and blew out a long breath. "Screaming at each other isn't going to get us anywhere." He knelt next to her and stilled her hands by grabbing her forearms. He shook his head and drew in another deep breath before he spoke.

"You were always so strong, so self-contained. You built walls so thick that no one could penetrate them. You didn't need anybody, least of all me. I wanted so much to help you, but you wouldn't let me. So we drifted apart... and it has come to this." Dean shook his head and sighed heavily, before he released her arms. "You made me do this. You made me mad enough to hurt you," he said.

When Dean tried to defend himself further, Amanda raised a blood stained hand in front of her to stem the flow of words. She closed her eyes and shook her head, but had to wait a moment for the pain in her head to subside a little before she spoke. "I will not listen to any more excuses and you will be hearing from my lawyer."

She pointed at the bloody gash on her face, still bleeding and the area around it just now beginning to turn an angry red and bruisy blue. She dabbed gingerly at the blood trickling from the gash in her face and the corner of her mouth with the tail of her shirt. More than once she hissed through her teeth at the stinging pain her ministrations stirred up. "I will be filing felony assault charges for this, along with child endangerment." Then she pointed toward the door.

"Get out. Get the hell out. I'm going to bed now and when I wake up, I want you gone," she said, her voice deceptively and surprisingly calm, despite her agitation and pain.

Dean dropped his hands and the only sound was his hands hitting the sides of his legs. "So it ends right here, right now?"

Amanda nodded silently, her eyes cold and hard as steel. They held no small amount of disdain for the man standing before her. "When I agreed to marry you, I meant for it to be forever. I have found that maybe forever isn't as long as it used to be," she whispered, her voice suddenly rough with emotion.

Moments later she heard the front door slam and the house was silent. Her breath came in gulping gasps as a horrible realization struck her. He was gone and he wasn't coming back. At the moment she didn't know whether to feel devastated or elated.

She cupped her hurting face and lay back on the carpeted floor. She curled into a ball, her body curled protectively around her unborn baby. Then, she cried until she was exhausted and had no more tears. Tears mixed with blood stained the carpet as she lay there. After a long while, she took a deep breath and got carefully to her feet. She made it to the landing and had to brace herself as a wave of dizziness overtook her. As she trudged up the stairs, a vague feeling of something not right curled in her lower belly.

She looked in on the boys, both sleeping as though an earthquake couldn't wake them. What she wouldn't give to be able to be oblivious to the world like that right now. Then she went into her bedroom and closed the door with studied care. She collapsed on the bed and laid her hand on her belly.

She inhaled sharply and let it out slowly, when a sharp pain cut through her midsection and into the muscles of her lower back. _Had Dean's aggressive act triggered premature labor? Damn. Damn. Damn._ she thought and slammed a fist into the bed. Another wave of dizziness hit her as she abruptly sat up and it took a few moments for the dizziness to subside.

She picked up the bedside phone and dialed her mother's number for the second time that evening. "Mother," she said, when Dotty picked up after three rings. "I'm sorry to bother you again, but I need your help. I think I might be in premature labor."

"Where's Dean?" Dotty asked, her voice groggy and still rusty from sleep.

"I don't know and I don't care," Amanda replied. "He hit me and I kicked him out."

 _Hallelujah,_ was Dotty's first thought. "Let me get dressed. I'll be there in 20 minutes," Dotty said, the concern in her voice unmistakable. "Just hang in there, darling."

"Okay," said Amanda and hung up the phone. She inhaled as another contraction began. When it was over, she sat there and tried to calmly contemplate her situation. As she sat there, her eyes came to rest on the inordinately ostentatious diamond ring on her left hand. She worked it off of her finger and chucked it with all her strength at the bathroom door. It bounced across the floor and came to rest not far from where she sat, mocking her with its very glinting brilliance. She did not dignify it by getting up to retrieve it. _Perhaps I could sell it and get enough for a healthy down payment on a newer car,_ she thought. Then, frustrated beyond bearing, she wrapped her arms around her middle and she rocked back and forth like a small child.

She whispered to her unborn baby, "C'mon, little one. You don't want to be born now. Stop this nonsense right this minute." As though in answer to her whispered pleas, the muscles under her forearms bunched in presage of another contraction. Having no other choice, Amanda breathed through it.

She knew that she had to clean her wounds, but dreaded seeing her face in the mirror. She got up to make her way to the bathroom, but had to stop and grab the door jamb as dizziness overtook her once again.

She almost cried again as she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. She wet a washcloth and began to carefully and methodically clean the blood from her face. When she was done, she turned her head to examine the bump on her head just above her left temple. She was just about to touch it, when another contraction struck and caused her to grip the sink edge with crushing force. When it was over she finished cleaning the wound on her temple and rinsed out the washcloth. She brought it with her as she made her way back to the bed and lay down to wait for her mother.

She only had a few more minutes to wait before Dotty came through the front door and made her way to the bedroom. She opened the door and when she saw Amanda lying there, she immediately enveloped Amanda in a tight embrace. "It'll be all right," she said softly, close to Amanda's ear. "I called the neighbor, Mrs. Jenkins, to watch the boys. She was more than happy to do it. She should be here any minute." She drew back and looked at Amanda's face. She raised her hand to touch it, but refrained when Amanda flinched away from her. "Oh, my God. What did he do to you? Do you want to press charges?"

"I will later, but I don't want to think about that right now, Mother. If we're going to save this baby, I need to get to the hospital as soon as possible," she said, her breath coming in short gasps, like a fish out of water.

Dotty scribbled a note and taped it to the door to boys' room. As she came back in, Dotty caught sight of something on the floor. She bent down, picked up Amanda's wedding rings and shook her head as she handed them to her. Amanda put them in her pocket and leaned heavily on Dotty as they made their way down the stairs and out to Dotty's car parked just beyond the front gate. Mrs. Jenkins waved to them as she came in the side gate.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Dotty drove with careful haste through the dead streets of late night Arlington. She turned to glance worriedly at her daughter struggling with her pain in the passenger seat. "Oh, Mother," Amanda said. "I can't lose this baby. It might be my last chance."

Dotty reached to pat her on the forearm and winced slightly as she saw finger shaped bruises forming there as well. "I know, darling," she said. "Prepare for the worst, hope for the best, your daddy always used to say."

They pulled up in front of the Emergency Entrance of Galilee General. Dotty commandeered a wheelchair for Amanda and helped her into it. They got her in immediately. Dotty went to park the car and when she came into the cubicle, Amanda grabbed her hand in a tight grip and breathed through another contraction.

A little while later, they took her for a CAT scan and discovered a very small hairline fracture in her ocular orbit, but there were no free floating bone fragments, so it was of little consequence. She was told that her eye would probably swell, but it would heal in a few weeks. She had a slight concussion from the bump on her head, but that too was of little consequence. She would probably have a monster of a headache and suffer from mild dizziness for awhile. Since she was pregnant, all they could do was prescribe Tylenol as needed and bed rest.

As she lay there, one hand held by a very serious and worried looking Dotty and the other holding an ice pack against her bruised and swollen temple. The gash on her cheek had required three butterfly stitches and was now covered with a gauze bandage. She hoped against hope that the medication they gave her would stop the labor.

She turned her head as she heard the man in the next cubicle complaining about every little thing and she heard another man's voice, lower and gruffer, trying to placate him. Still another voice, a woman's, prodded him good naturally about how he had been injured.

Amanda closed her eyes and rolled her head back and forth on the pillow. She let out a groan as the pain in her midsection and lower back intensified. Dotty, who sat in a chair next to the bed, looked up. "Amanda," Dotty said her name and elongated each vowel. "Are you all right? Do you need the doctor?"

"No, Mother," she said between gasping breaths. "As the... doctor said... we need to... give the medication... time to work. He said... we caught it... early enough... that the odds... are much better... that the... medication... will stop... the labor. The pain... will only... get worse... before... it gets... better."

Dotty took her hand in both of hers and patted it. "The waiting is the hardest part. Isn't it, dear?"

Amanda closed her eyes, still listening to the banter in the next cubicle. Listening intently to their voices, Amanda got the vague feeling that she knew these people, but could not place them. She shook her head and wrote it off to the medication skewing her perspective slightly.

She inhaled as another contraction began. When it was over, she blew out a long breath and said, "That one wasn't... as hard to handle. Maybe the medication... is starting to... work after all."

It took the better part of three hours and the labor had stopped completely. Amanda sighed with relief and looked at Dotty with hopeful eyes. They did a pelvic exam and confirmed that the mucus plug was still firmly in place. The doctor said the baby was still firmly embedded and hopefully wouldn't be going anywhere for awhile. However, she would need to follow up with her regular OB/GYN for careful monitoring the remainder of her pregnancy and be on bed rest for at least a week. Taking her other injuries into consideration, it would be at the discretion of her regular doctor to extend her bed rest if necessary.

They also did a sonogram and for the first time Amanda heard the baby's heartbeat, strong and fast, resound through the room. She and Dotty looked at each other and smiled. She asked, "Can you tell the sex of the baby?"

"Yes, do you want to know?" the doctor asked.

"Yes, I do," Amanda said.

"It's a girl," he said softly.

Dotty kissed her on the forehead and her smile lit up the room.

The doctor had called the police at Amanda's request and as she had told Dean she would do, she pressed charges and swore out a warrant for his arrest. When they were certain her labor had ceased, a police photographer had taken pictures of all of her injuries, the new and the old healing bruises and lacerations scattered over her body. Dotty was not allowed to be in the room while they did this at Amanda's insistence, since she was ashamed and afraid of what her mother might think. These were submitted, along with a detailed report regarding her current injuries and her premature labor, which was thought to have been triggered by Dean's aggression, as evidence in the case. When she got dressed again, she was given a scrub shirt to wear home, since her own was stiff with dried blood and had been taken for evidence.

When she was released, Dotty went to get the car. Amanda was left in the cubicle to gather her meager belongings and wait for her to return.

Amanda glanced into the cubicle next door, where she had heard voices earlier, as she walked by. A man sat on the bed and he was alone. His shirt was off and Amanda took a long appraising look at his chest, quite muscular and devoid of hair. His upper right arm was bandaged and there was very large bruise just over his right eye. He glanced up and brown eyes met hazel for just an instant, but it felt almost like a physical touch. Amanda was taken aback by the feeling that she and this man shared a special connection and the feeling that she had seen him somewhere before. She stopped in her tracks and for a brief moment she couldn't breathe and she felt dizzy and faint. Noticing her distress, he got up and came to her. He touched her upper arm to steady her before he asked, "Are you all right? Do you need the doctor?"

"I'm fine. Just fine," Amanda said, sounding a bit distracted, her breath coming in short gasps. He led her just inside the cubicle and pulled up the chair for her to sit in. He smiled at her as he finished putting on his shirt, though his expression had altered slightly when he noticed her pregnancy and her bruised face.

Amanda pointed at his bandages and asked, "How did you get that?"

"I'm a documentary film maker for a firm called IFF here in D.C. and I got a little too close to some people that wanted to kill me for knowing a little too much about their illegal activities. My boss and my associate didn't like it too much, but I got the footage we needed," the man said. "How about you? Who did that?" he asked, gesturing to her face.

She said, "This?" and pointed to the bruise on her face visible under the bandage that was now turning to several interesting shades of blue and purple. "My soon to be ex-husband did this. I've pressed charges and the police assured me that he will be enjoying the hospitality of the city jail within the next 24 hours." Amanda patted her belly. "As you can see, I'm just over 5 months along and I had a premature labor scare." At his look of concern, she held up her hand and she said, "There's no need for alarm. They were able to stop it and everything seems to be fine now. I just need to take it easy for awhile."

The man held out his hand and said, "Forgive my horrible manners. I'm Lee Stetson, by the way. And you are?"

Amanda smiled and took his hand. He too must have felt the electrical charge that went through them, since he turned her hand over and slowly slid his hand from it, as though he wanted to prolong the contact for as long as possible. Amanda laughed nervously and said, "Amanda King McGuire. I'm very glad to meet you, Lee."

Lee filed that name away, _McGuire. Any man that would hit a woman, especially a pregnant woman, is the very scum of the earth and bares some special scrutiny._ Then, he smiled playfully and asked, "What do you do when you're not skulking around emergency rooms chatting up cute guys?"

Amanda smiled sheepishly at this and drew designs on the arm of the chair for a moment to gather her thoughts. "I'll graduate from UVA in the spring with a Master's degree in American Literature and English. Hopefully, by fall I'll have a job teaching at the college level. In my spare time I write screwball comedy spy novels. You may not have heard of me, A. J. West. My first novel, _To London with Love_ , has been out for awhile and my most recent novel, _Salzburg in Springtime_ was released several months ago. Since I'll be laid up for at least a week, I guess I'll have to work on my third novel, _Munich in Moonlight_ ," Amanda rambled.

Lee smiled and said, "Believe it or not, I have read _To London with Love._ I usually don't go in for spy novels, but for reasons I can't explain, something told me that I should read this. I liked it and wanted to see more from you. I'll be sure to look for your other novels."

Amanda smiled at this and glanced around as Dotty came walking up the corridor. When Dotty saw Amanda sitting and chatting with a handsome young man, she smiled. "Amanda, what have you been doing? The doctor said to stay off your feet as much as possible."

Amanda looked up guiltily and said, "Mother, this is Lee Stetson. He has been keeping me company while you were gone. Lee, this is my mother, Dotty West."

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. West. Your daughter came walking by and looked a bit pale and dizzy, so I convinced her to sit down. It wasn't until we started talking that I found out why she was here," Lee explained.

"Thank you, Mr. Stetson for all you have done," Dotty said and turned her attention to Amanda. "C'mon. Let's get you a wheelchair and get you home. You look like you could use a rest. The boys are probably pretty worried by now."

"Boys?" Lee asked.

"Yes," Amanda said. "I have two teenage boys." _If my pregnancy and my bruises didn't scare him off, that certainly will,_ Amanda thought. Just then Dotty came up pushing a wheelchair and he helped Amanda into it.

Amanda offered her hand once again and said, "It was a pleasure to meet you, Lee."

Lee took her hand and gallantly kissed the back of it. He said, "It was a pleasure to meet you, Amanda and the pleasure was all mine. May I walk you out?"

"I would like that very much," said Amanda softly.

As they walked out of the emergency room, they chatted about Lee's adventures as a documentary film maker and the pitfalls of writer's block when you have a deadline staring you in the face. When they got to the car, Lee helped Amanda in and closed the door. Amanda rolled down the window and said, "I really did enjoy talking to you. Hope to see you around."

"Same goes here. I hope everything goes all right with the baby," said Lee and under his breath, "And your divorce." He stepped back and waved as they drove away.

As he stood there looking after the car as it turned the corner, Lee had a strange tingly feeling in his chest. He didn't believe in love at first sight, he was too much of a cynic for that, but he did know one thing for certain. He had the distinct impression that he had just encountered a very amazing and extraordinary woman.

Sitting in the passenger seat, Amanda's thoughts were all a jumble. The place on the back of her hand, where Lee had lightly grazed it with his lips still tingled. And his eyes, he had the most beautiful eyes. Ever the pragmatist, Amanda was nonplussed by her reaction to this seeming stranger. Her eyes widened as she at last remembered where she had seen him before. It was at the train station a few years ago. He was the man in the waiter's uniform carrying a package wrapped in brown paper. Had that been part of one of Lee's documentary films? She realized that there was definitely more to Lee Stetson than met the eye.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Amanda followed up with her regular doctor the next day and he agreed with the ER doctor about total bed rest for at least one week. So when she got back from the doctor's office, she was relegated to the couch in the den with a blanket, her favorite pillow, a bottomless glass of iced tea, and the TV remote. Dotty, her resident watchdog, was also on hand to make sure she didn't do too much and that the boys were properly cared for while she was laid up. True to her word to Lee, she kept her laptop and notebook nearby so that she could work on her next novel when the mood struck her.

Dean was arrested at work that day and spent the night in jail awaiting arraignment the next morning. Bail was set at $50,000 and the case was bound over for trial. According to Betsy, her friend from the PTA that worked at the county clerk's office, his parents came to bail him out.

When her self-imposed imprisonment as over, she went to see her doctor, who confirmed that the baby was still doing well and would hopefully stay put for the time being. Now that her fears about her baby had been put to rest, it was time to think about what she was going to do about Dean, his brutal aggression and his blatant betrayal.

Amanda testified at his trial and was dismayed when he got off with probation and community service. After he was arrested and convicted of a felony, he was demoted and his pay cut in half. He now made less money than his former assistant. Upon hearing this, Amanda thought, _Karma sucks, doesn't it, Dean?_ Amanda never thought she could be so cold and calculating, but Dean just brought that out in her somehow. Soon after that she filed a protective order against him and never saw him again until after she filed for divorce a few months later.

Despite all the obstacles and stressors that had to be overcome, Amanda passed her finals and finished her thesis on the political and social impact of The Oz Series comprising 14 books by L. Frank Baum. She made it to graduation without another premature labor episode, thanks to Dotty, her watchdog, and her doctor, who saw her once a week. Dotty and the boys were there to cheer her on, as she made her way across the stage to receive her diploma at long last. She missed her father, but knew that he was there in spirit and that he was very proud of his little girl. Though she was happy for her education to be done at long last, she was still skeptical about finding a job. When her counselor asked her if she wanted to go on and get her doctorate, all she could do was smile and tell her that though she would love to, it was a challenge for another time.

Though she had had favorable reactions from several of the jobs she had applied for and despite graduating suma cum laude, her consistent 3.8 and above GPA, her Dean's List status all six semesters, and her Kappa alumnus status, she had yet to land an interview.

Though, one prospect, Marymount University, Arlington, looked very promising. They needed an adjunct to teach American Literature for the fall semester, with a chance at a permanent position. And to top it all off, her third novel, _Munich in Moonlight_ , was set to be released in the late fall.

Amanda filed for divorce a few weeks after graduation on the grounds of irreconcilable differences. She felt a bit mercenary after she threatened to file for divorce on the grounds of adultery and tell Dean's parents the real reason they were getting divorced, the fact that he had brutally beaten her, while she was pregnant no less.

She and Dean were so hostile that the judge ordered them to go to mediation with their attorneys. First off, she made Dean agree to pay reasonable alimony and second, to sign all parental rights to his unborn daughter over to her antenatum. As part of the agreement, the baby would not bear his name and his name would not appear on the birth certificate as the baby's father. The baby would be named Victoria Dorothea West and Amanda, disliking the name McGuire, went back to using the name King, much to Dean's disgust.

As for property, Amanda's house remained hers, since it was pre-marital property granted to her in her last divorce. Much to his disdain, Dean had no prior claim on it. She was gratified that Dean had not talked her into buying a bigger house after she had found out she was pregnant. She kept her station wagon and Dean kept his BMW. They had bought nothing together, not even a toaster, so there was nothing else to wrangle over. Dean was entitled to any furniture he had brought to the union when he moved in and any clothing and personal affects. Then, Dean brought up the wedding rings, which represented a substantial monetary outlay for his parents. It was mediated that they each got to keep their rings.

Due to some slippery maneuvering on the part of Dean's lawyers, Amanda's earnings from her novels posed a problem, since her first novel had been published while she was married to Dean and her earnings were classified as marital assets. She was required to deposit 10% of any and all earnings garnered from the three novels that were accepted for publication while they were married, including but not limited to sales, royalties and contract advances, into a special account to be distributed to Dean on a quarterly basis. She was currently in contract negotiations for a fourth, fifth and possibly a sixth book and was gratified to discover that these would not be affected by the agreement. As her lawyer advised her, he would profit little or nothing from it, since the alimony he had been ordered to pay would be much more than this. However, she would probably be paying a substantial amount of her own alimony. It was a maneuver designed to cause her stress, more than anything else and limit Dean's out of pocket for the alimony he would have to pay. Amanda only smiled at this, much to the chagrin of her lawyer, who also began to smile once Amanda explained to her that since her husband was a convicted felon, his earning capacity had been greatly reduced.

Any bank accounts held jointly were to be split equally. The only account affected was the general household account that Amanda paid the bills and bought groceries from each month. Luckily, any money she had earned from her novels was held in a separate account in her name only. She sighed with relief at the thought that she had not given in to Dean pressuring her to put his name on her Writer's account.

Amanda thought Dean would pop an artery when he was ordered to reimburse her for the medical bills from her emergency room visit and her follow-up visits with her doctor immediately after her shocking discovery of Dean's extra-marital activities and he hit her, causing her to go into premature labor.

He was also ordered to pay any and all credit card debt in both of their names. Amanda thought little of this, since the only charges on her credit card were for the purchase of detailed maps of her characters' destinations, research materials and fees, and manuscript paper, along with typing and printing charges for the submission drafts of her three novels to date, a few hundred dollars at best. She had seen some of the charges on Dean's credit cards, many of which were probably gifts for his paramours, since few if any of the items purchased were ever given to her.

A month and a half later, after all the negotiations had ceased and there was nothing left to wrangle over or sling mud about, Amanda and Dean had their day in court. By then the divorce was more or less a _fait accompli_ and court was just a formality.

Amanda sat next to her attorney, a good friend from college and fellow Kappa, Eleanor "El" Winstead. The baby was restless and Amanda, in the middle of her ninth month of pregnancy and the baby due any day now, could not get comfortable as she sat listening to the opposing attorney drone on and on about seemingly nothing.

Dean's parents were also in the court room and Amanda could feel Dean's mother's pointed stare drilling a hole in the back of her head. She could understand why her soon to be ex mother-in-law was so hostile, since Amanda had singlehandedly ruined her son's career. But she was neither the perpetrator nor the transgressor, since he had brought that on himself with his infidelity, his brutality and his lack of remorse for his actions. As if for counter balance, Dotty was there as well, her warm gentle hand on Amanda's shoulder a calming and reassuring influence.

During the proceedings Amanda glanced Dean's way a time or two and the only words she could come up with to describe him were humble and contrite. She had a feeling that he would try to get back into her good graces. _No dice. The leopard seldom chances his spots. Once a cheater and a beater, always a cheater and a beater._ She shook her head. _Not this time, Buster._ She immediately got a flash of elevator doors closing as she muttered these words under her breath, her arms folded over her chest and her jaw clenched in defiance.

She blinked and shifted in her seat yet again to relieve the tightness in her back. El leaned toward her and placed a gentle hand on her arm. She whispered, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Amanda answered softly. "I'm just a little uncomfortable. This hard chair isn't helping my back much. Not to mention the baby has gone three rounds with my bladder."

"Hopefully, this will be over pretty soon," said El.

After the opposing attorney finished droning, the judge rehashed all of the agreements and sanctions. Then he perused the final divorce documents and they were handed to the attorneys, who would give them to their clients for final approval, signing and filing.

Amanda glanced up as the judge made his final pronouncement. "I hereby grant the divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences and declare the marriage between Dean Jacob McGuire and Amanda Jean King McGuire dissolved. This court is adjourned," the judge said. Amanda visibly flinched as the gavel came down and her marriage to Dean McGuire and any association with him had come to an end.

Amanda stood up with some difficulty and Dotty grabbed her upper arm to steady her. Her hands went to her lower back and as she stretched the tired and achy muscles there, her belly protruded in front of her.

Dean watched her with a look of disgust on his face. Before their separation Dean had chastised her repeatedly for "flaunting her condition," as though pregnancy was not a natural and beautiful state of being, but an embarrassing malady. It had occurred to her that this, among other reasons, was why Dean was an only child and what a terrible reason it was.

They had to stop for a moment in front of the elevator that would take them to the parking garage and Amanda put her hands on her lower back and stretched again.

She shook her head and sighed, as she ran her hand over her belly. Then, she turned to see Dotty looking at her in speculation. Seeing the look on her face, she asked, "Mother, what's on your mind?"

"Oh, nothing really important, dear," Dotty said and pushed the call button.

"Ah, come on now, Mother. You have that look. It has to be something," Amanda prodded, as they got on the elevator.

"I give it three days." She paused. "No two and you'll be in the hospital having that baby."

Amanda blinked and asked, "What makes you think that?"

Dotty tapped her chin and wagged her finger in the air, as she spoke, "Well, the house is absolutely spotless, the crib was ready for the baby two weeks ago _and_ you had that same look in your eyes just before Jamie was born."

"Care to bet on that?" Amanda asked, only half serious, as the elevator doors opened and they stepped out.

"Okay, dinner at Emelio's when you are feeling up to it? Loser pays. I say you'll be in full blown labor by day after tomorrow. Anytime before or after and you win," said Dotty, just before they got in the car.

"You've got a bet," said Amanda, extending her pinky for a pinky swear.

They smiled and got in the car to drive home. A few minutes into the trip Amanda sighed heavily. Dotty looked at her, a hundred questions in her eyes, but still unwilling to voice any of them.

Amanda looked at her and said softly, "I can hear all of those questions bouncing around inside your head about now. It's okay, really. Ask away."

"What are you going to do now?" she asked, a note of anxiety in her voice.

"Because of my writing, Joe's child support and Dean's alimony, we won't go cold or hungry. If I continue to make double payments as I have been, the house will be paid off this time next year. We might even be able to swing a newer car," Amanda rambled, but she knew that really wasn't what her mother wanted to know.

She paused and sighed before she said, "Mother, if you want to move back in, you are more than welcome. My door is always open. Besides, since my premature labor scare, you've spent more time at my house than you have at your own. Your room is just the way you left it. I thought about turning it into a nursery, but decided against it when all this mess with Dean started. Besides, I miss you and the boys miss you and I want my baby girl to know her grandma." She patted her belly and smiled wickedly before she said, "We can spoil her rotten together."

At this Dotty gave Amanda a radiant, albeit teary-eyed smile. "Thank you, dear. You know that means the world to me. But first, let's get this kid born and settled, then we can discuss my living arrangements."

"Whenever you're ready, Mother," Amanda said, as she turned the corner onto Maplewood Drive.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Amanda called out to Matt and he appeared. He pulled her out of the other Amanda's sleeping body to stand beside the bed. "I want to see Lee in my time and my timeline," Amanda said firmly.

"That may not be possible at this time," Matt hedged.

"To those that believe in the impossible, all things are possible," Amanda said, as she looked at Matt pointedly and stood with her arms folded over her chest.

Matt held up a placating hand and said, "Okay, gimme a minute." He closed his eyes and began whispering under his breath as though conversing with someone Amanda couldn't see. Then he nodded vigorously and opened his eyes. "I had to do some horse trading, but I can do it," he said and gripped her upper arm. "Here we go."

They faded through the bedroom wall and into her hospital room. Lee sat there in the chair by the bed. His face was haggard and his body was wasted. "Oh, my poor poor Lee. How long have I been unconscious?" Amanda asked and moved to stand beside Lee.

"Um, let me see. 34 days, 19 hours, 46 minutes and 23 seconds," he said, looking at his watch with some concentration.

"Oh, my gosh," she said and reached to smooth the hair away from Lee's forehead. She noticed that his hair was much greyer than the last time she had seen him. She looked into his eyes and saw unimaginable grief, as though she had already died.

"Please end this torture for him. He looks as though he has lost any hope of me ever regaining consciousness," Amanda pleaded.

"This journey will take only a little while longer. I promise," Matt said.

Amanda knelt near Lee's chair and brought her lips close to his ear. "I love you, Lee. I'm coming back to you. I am with you each day in my heart. I'll be with you again soon. Please have faith, have hope." She got up and came to stand next to Matt again.

Lee raised his head and looked at a point right in the middle of Amanda's chest with eyes far away as though he wasn't quite awake. "If you are coming back to me, please do it soon. I am losing the battle. I can't hold out much longer. All of my hope is gone and I have nothing left," he said, his voice sounding strained and far away. He sighed heavily and buried his head in his hands.

As Amanda stood there, she tapped her chin with her forefinger, before she asked, "Matt, I've been thinking... What happened to Lee in the other timeline?"

"I knew that you would ask me that sooner or later," Matt said. "Since you met him at the hospital, the timeline has been altered and we do not know what will happen from that time forward. In other words we are in uncharted territory. The demons seem to have been caught off guard as well. Let's hope they remain off balance for a little while longer. When fate has been thwarted, she can be tenacious indeed. It appears that your destinies are inextricably intertwined. You and Lee were destined to meet, no matter what and fate always has a backup plan. Love like that doesn't happen by accident. Yours is a rare love, one for the ages that cannot be denied; it is that exquisite meeting of two infinitely compatible souls. It seems that your paths will continue to cross until your destiny has been fulfilled."

Amanda blinked. "But what about the known path? What would have happened to Lee had we never met at all?"

"It is a very sad and tragic tale," Matt said, looking down and shaking his head.

"It can't be any worse than all the mess I've been through with Dean," Amanda said, her eyes shifting to look at Lee sitting slumped in the chair, his head still buried in his hands. "Tell me, please," Amanda pleaded.

Matt cleared his throat and looked at her sternly. "My superiors warned me against telling you this. But since you asked and it may give you some insight into the relationship in your own time and place, I will tell you."

Amanda looked up and nodded silently. She waited as Matt cleared his throat again and gathered his thoughts. "As you know, shortly before you met Lee, his partner was shot and killed in the line of duty. You were not there to sooth his grief and give him something else to focus on besides his growing guilt." Matt paused and shifted slightly, making his robes sway. He got a far away pained look in his eyes as he continued. "Charged with keeping you safe and out of danger, he was less likely to engage in high risk behavior himself. Without you there to assuage and mitigate his grief and guilt, he began a slow slide into burn out. He began drinking to excess, gambling, driving too fast and deliberately putting himself in dangerous situations during intelligence operations. Then he lost his much adored classic Porsche to an unfortunate accident during a case. He won enough at Poker to put a substantial down payment on a Porsche 911 Turbo Carrera Convertible. He died three months later, on a rainy night when he had had a few too many and took a curve way too fast. The street was slick and he lost control. He plowed through a bus stop shelter and into a light pole doing in excess of 90 mph. He died instantly and luckily no one else was injured. Though Lee's death was ruled an accident, Billy and Francine believed it was a suicide. They had suspected that he had been trying to get himself killed for months and that he feared the eternal consequences of putting his service issued semiautomatic to his head and pulling the trigger. He had few friends and his only family was his uncle, Colonel Robert Clayton."

When Matt finished his story, Amanda took a deep breath and stood there with her head hanging in the silence, the only sound Amanda's tears dripping and hitting a strap on her sandal. "Oh, my gosh!" she exclaimed. "Billy told me more than once that meeting me had saved Lee's life. I didn't understand how right he was until now."

Matt placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and said, "We do not understand the significance of our presence in someone's life until that presence is gone. And when it is, as in the case of you and Lee, it leaves a raw and jagged hole." Matt glanced at his watch. "It is time for you to return to your other life. Come."

Matt and Amanda materialized next to the other Amanda's bed. Amanda waved as she lay back into her counterpart's soundly sleeping body once more.

LSAKLSAKLSAK

Amanda won the bet, since she went into labor the following afternoon. Dotty conceded as she drove Amanda to the hospital. Amanda sat in the passenger seat and breathed through each contraction.

Dotty parked in front of the Emergency Entrance at Galilee General and commandeered a wheelchair. As she helped Amanda into the chair, Amanda inhaled sharply and grabbed her arm in a vise like grip. A small puppy whine escaped her clenched teeth as she worked her way through the building pain.

"Oh, my gosh. That was a good one," Amanda said when she could breathe normally again. "I don't remember the pain being this bad with Jamie."

"You're not supposed to remember, dear. It's one of the miracles of childbirth, forgetting the pain and struggle so you'll want to do it again," Dotty said and patted Amanda's hands still wrapped around her upper arm, though with much less strength than before. Amanda smiled and released her grip, as Dotty wheeled her into the emergency room.

The nurse behind the desk immediately called an orderly to take Amanda to Labor & Delivery. With Amanda in good hands Dotty went to park the car and joined Amanda in her room several minutes later. When Dotty got there, the nurse handed her a stack of sterile scrubs and pointed to a restroom. When she came out, dressed in blue from head to toe, Amanda, though in pain, had to smile.

"You know, Mother," Amanda joked. "I've been thinking about redoing the kitchen in just that shade of blue." She immediately got a flash of a cozy kitchen and a discussion about blue curtains and a matching area rug under the dining table.

Dotty rolled her eyes and came to the side of the bed. "How are my girls?" she asked and stroked a stray lock of sweat soaked hair out of Amanda's face.

"My contractions are 4 minutes apart and I'm dilated to 6 cm," Amanda answered. "The baby and I are doing just fine."

"Should I call Dean?" asked Dotty, hoping Amanda would say no.

"No, Mother. I'll call Dean when I get good and ready, preferably when Victoria is ready to graduate from high school," Amanda huffed.

Dotty grinned at this. Even in pain, Amanda was trying to keep a sense of humor. This, she thought, was a good thing.

Suddenly, Amanda looked at Dotty and rolled her head back and forth on the pillow as though struggling for breath. "I feel really... strange and... my chest... hurts. Hard... to... breathe," she said and closed her eyes. Then she went limp and very still. Dotty darted for the door and screamed for a nurse.

The nurse came in and checked Amanda's vitals. She picked up the phone and called a Code Blue. Seconds later a team with a crash cart came into the room. Dotty stood plastered against the wall, her face showing her shock and fear. Under her breath, she whispered, "My babies. My babies. My babies."

After only a few moments, they were able to get Amanda's heart back in rhythm again, thankfully without shocking her. Apparently, the baby had hit a nerve and caused Amanda's heart to go into A-fib and out of rhythm. The doctor told Dotty that Amanda would be all right, since her heart was back in rhythm, but she would need to be closely monitored. After a little while Amanda took a deep breath and opened her eyes. "I saw a tall man with hazel eyes dressed in a white robe with a gold cord belt and leather sandals beside the bed and he glowed with a soft golden light. I was standing next to him, but I looked older somehow; I had the beginnings of grey in my hair."

Dotty shook her head and had nothing to say to this. _Was it an angel of death come to collect her daughter and the baby, but never got the chance?_ she thought and shivered inwardly.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

For a few moments, Amanda struggled for breath, as a demon wrapped his long clawed fingers around her neck. She stared wide eyed into its eyes, into depths of horror and evil she had never before imagined. Its breath stank of sulfur and brimstone, as though someone had struck a match close to her nostrils, as it brought its face within inches of hers.

"I have been sent to kill you and it will bring me much pleasure to do so," it hissed, its long yellowish teeth dripping with slime and saliva.

"Not this time, Buster!" Amanda yelled, as she kicked out with a foot and pushed with her hands against its chest. She managed to get it off of her and took a deep breath. "Help me, Matt!"

Almost instantly, she was standing beside him, looking down at her other self on the bed. "What happened?" Amanda asked, looking up at Matt. Amanda ran her hand over the claw marks on her neck, still burning as though they had been doused with acid. "A demon tried to kill me while I was inside of my other self. You pulled me out just in time."

Matt said, "For a few seconds the timelines crossed and merged. I pulled you out so fast, I didn't have time to cloak us. She saw us standing beside the bed after I pulled you out. If she had died while you were inside of her, your consciousness would have died with her. In your timeline you would have been brain dead and would never have awakened from your coma. If the demon had succeeded in killing you, in the other timeline you would have flatlined. Since you are comatose and have been so for some time, there is a DNR order in place. They would not have tried to revive you."

"Oh, my gosh. What do we do now?" Amanda exclaimed, still rubbing her neck. Matt smoothed his hand over her neck and immediately, the burning stopped, though the red marks and scratches were still there and would remain so for some time.

"I have pulled you out for the time being. That demon will probably catch hell, literally, for what he tried. There must a rich prize indeed, if a demon is willing to try something like that. We must be on our guard now more than ever, if this is so. They may try again. Your other self can no longer see us. We can stick around and see your baby girl born or we can go to your timeline and see Lee," said Matt.

"I want to see Lee. We can be back in plenty of time to see my daughter born," Amanda said.

"Here we go," Matt said and they faded through the hospital wall into Amanda's room once more. Lee was sitting in his usual spot reading _The Wonderful Wizard of Oz._

"How long has it been?" Amanda asked.

"Let me see," said Matt and consulted his watch. "34 days, 21 hours, 32 minutes and 47 seconds, to be exact."

"A month. In the other timeline I've lived years. How can that be?" Amanda asked.

"Time is a fluid thing. In the other timeline time passes at a much faster rate so that you may experience what you need to without having to leave your own body for any longer than necessary. The powers that be have ordained it to be so," said Matt.

"That kind of makes sense in a space-time continuum sort of way," said Amanda and she got that puzzling out something look for a few moments.

After a few moments more, she moved to touch Lee's back and made soothing circles with her splayed hand. He read slower and slower until he had fallen asleep in the chair. The book dangled from his hand and finally dropped to the floor. She smoothed the hair back from his forehead and crooned, "Sleep now, Sweetheart. Sleep." Then she looked at Matt and said, "He looks like he could use a good night's rest. Can't you do some kind of angel mojo to make him sleep till morning?"

Matt smiled at this and nodded. "The longer you stay in this form, the more angel-like you will become. When you awaken from your coma, you may retain some of your angelic virtues, like calming anxiety and fear, soothing pain, inducing hunger and inducing deep restful sleep with only touch or a few words."

"Those things might come in handy if I ever have another child or we get injured doing our jobs again," Amanda said.

Matt smiled knowingly before he touched Lee's head and ran his hand down over his eyes. He held his hand there for a few seconds and whispered under his breath. After he removed his hand, he said, "As an angelic being, I am able to calm anxiety and fear, induce deep restful sleep, induce hunger and abate pain through the virtue of succor, as I was able to do when I touched your neck just now. He will sleep at least 8 hours and it will be the deepest most restful sleep he has had since before the explosion. I also put up a do not wake aura to keep the nurse from waking him until he awakens of his own accord. When he awakens, he will be hungry and he will want to eat foods that will nourish and energize his body and make him feel better."

"Thanks, Matt," she said and looked at her comatose body. The bandages on her head had been removed and the hair where her head had been shaved was short and bristly. The gashes on her forehead just below her hairline around her skull fracture had healed and left pinkish ridges. Her injured arm lay unmoving under the blanket and she knew that she would probably need surgery to repair the damage. She was loathe to return to a body so terribly damaged, but in order to return to her beloved husband and her family, it must be done.

Matt stood quietly and watched her. Though she had said not a word, he knew on some level what she was thinking. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and said, "Remember at the very beginning of this journey, I told you that you and Lee would be richly rewarded. Believe in that and it shall be so. What was it you said to me? Oh, yes. 'To those that believe in the impossible, all things are possible.' Now, it is time to go."

He took her by the upper arm and they reappeared next to the bed in the other Amanda's hospital room.

LSAKLSAKLSAK

Amanda drew in a deep breath and moved her head. She opened her eyes and saw Dotty beside the bed, a look of concern bordering on worry marring her features. "What happened?" she asked.

Dotty grabbed Amanda's hand and stroked her hair. "Are you all right? Your heart was out of rhythm for a few minutes. I thought I had lost you both."

"I feel a little weak and short of breath and my chest hurts a little, but otherwise I'm all right," Amanda said and laid her hand on her belly. She had to crane her neck to look up at the fetal heart monitor screen. The baby's heartbeat was still rapid and strong. Amanda sighed with relief.

Amanda felt the muscles in her belly begin to tighten in preparation for the next contraction. She breathed through it, her mother's hand a lifeline that helped her ride above the gradually intensifying pain. After a few more contractions, the doctor came in to check on her again.

"Contractions 2 minutes apart and dilation to 9 cm. Despite your episode, the baby's heartbeat is strong and steady. She's gonna make it. She's strong and stubborn, this one," he said, looking intently at the fetal monitor strip.

Dotty looked up at the doctor and smiled at this. "She comes by it honestly. She's definitely a West female."

About an hour later Amanda had a really hard contraction and her water broke. She had the bedrail in a white knuckled grip. "Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, my gosh! I feel like I want to push," Amanda squeaked.

Dotty moved out of the way while the nurses helped her get into dry clothing and changed her bedding. Then, they put Amanda's legs up in stirrups and raised the bed to a more upright position. The doctor sat on a stool at the foot of the bed and waited. He watched the fetal monitor screen in anticipation of the next contraction.

"Okay, Amanda. Ready." He waited for several more seconds before he said, "Push."

Amanda braced, Dotty supporting her shoulders and upper body. She took a deep calming breath and bore down down down, her breath coming in catchy gasps.

"She's crowning. Come on now. Just a few more times and you can hold your beautiful baby girl in your arms," the doctor encouraged.

"Ready and push, Amanda," said the doctor, as the next contraction began.

Amanda bore down once again, her teeth clenched so tight she thought they might crack from the strain. Through the ringing in her ears, she heard the doctor say that the baby's head was out. He told her to stop pushing while he cleaned the baby's mouth and checked her airway. He told her on the next contraction she would deliver the shoulders and the rest would be a piece of cake.

 _That's what you think, Buster._ Amanda thought as she struggled through the pain, her breath catching in her throat.

"Okay, now push. Gimme a good one this time," the doctor said.

Amanda bore down down down and after a moment or two, she felt a tearing and a warm gush of blood. Then she heard her baby girl's first cry. Victoria was finally here. The doctor handed Dotty a pair of surgical scissors and let her cut the umbilical cord.

It took a few moments, while the doctor cleaned and evaluated her. Then a nurse laid the baby in Amanda's arms. She laid her cheek on the baby's head, still moist from birth and sobbed with relief. Dotty could do little to comfort her, so she smoothed the sweat soaked hair from her forehead and said softly, "She's beautiful, Amanda. She's absolutely perfect. Dean may have done a lot of things wrong, but giving you this beautiful baby girl is the rightest thing he ever did."

Amanda smiled, her eyes brilliant with unshed tears. She planted a kiss on the top of the baby's head and stroked her cheek. She whispered, "Welcome to the world, Victoria. Your daddy might not have wanted you, but your grandmother and I do and you, my darling little girl, will never ever want for love." Then she cuddled her baby close to her and looked up at Dotty, her look triumphant and fierce. Dotty returned her look and smiled proudly.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Later, after Amanda had been cleaned up and settled in her room, a surprise visitor tapped on the door. Amanda looked up from watching Victoria nurse at her breast and said, "Come in."

Lee opened the door and stuck his head inside. He asked, "May I come in?"

Amanda smiled and said, "Lee, what a nice surprise. Please come in. I didn't expect to see you here."

Lee stepped inside and closed the door. Lee looked at Amanda holding the baby and was struck by the perfection of the scene, the very rightness of it. His chest tingled and grew tight, as he caught his breath.

"I was just released. I heard that you were here and had had your baby," he said, when he could breathe normally again, but he didn't move any further into the room.

When he hesitated and continued to hover near the door, she had to coax him. "It's okay. Come closer. We won't bite," she said and smiled. When he moved to stand next to the bed, she said, "Lee Stetson, may I present to you, my daughter, Victoria West."

Lee stood motionless; his head cocked slightly to one side and took in the exquisite beauty of the scene. He wondered for a second what she would look like lying there nursing a child they had made with their love. He blinked and shook his head, before he said, "Oh, Amanda. She's beautiful. Not surprising, since she is the spitting image of her mother."

She took in that his arm was in a sling and he moved somewhat gingerly. She gestured to the chair beside the bed and said, "Forgive my horrible manners. Would you like to sit down? You look like you are in a lot of pain."

When he was seated and looked a bit more comfortable, Amanda said, "I gave up skulking around the hospital months ago. Apparently you haven't. What are you in for this time?"

Lee smiled at this and said, "I was doing a documentary film about a radical militant group called New Utopia in the backwoods of Virginia. The leader decided to take me as a captive, string me up by the wrists and rough me up a bit." He indicated his sling. "Dislocated shoulder and three broken ribs. At least this time I didn't puncture a lung. I got some great footage and it will probably win an independent film award." He paused. "But enough about me. What about you? How's your writing going? Has your third book been released?"

"It's due to be released sometime after Thanksgiving. I'm doing rewrites and contract negotiations at the moment. I'm working on a contract for three more books and a story outline for my fourth book, but it doesn't have a title yet," she answered.

"How about school? Did you graduate? Have you found a job yet?" he asked.

"Well, I graduated suma cum laude with a Master's degree in May and an expertise in the writings of L. Frank Baum, specifically the Oz books. By then I was seven months along and had a hard time fitting into my graduation gown. I start in September at Marymount University, Arlington as an adjunct in the Arts & Sciences Department teaching American Literature, colonial times to present. I have to have my syllabus in by August 1st. If I do well, I have a shot at a permanent position," Amanda rambled.

"That's good. I'll bet your mother is very proud of you," Lee said.

"She really is. I have her to thank. She kept the boys occupied and out of my hair while I finished my thesis, studied for finals and worked on my book. Since my premature labor scare, she has been my resident watchdog," Amanda said.

Just then there was a tap at the door. "Come in," Amanda called.

Dotty came in and closed the door. She stopped when she saw Lee sitting in the chair next to the bed. "Hello, Mr. Stetson. I didn't expect to see you here. What a pleasant surprise," Dotty said her voice somewhat frosty.

"Hello, Mrs. West," said Lee, not missing a beat. "I didn't expect to be here either. I was here to get fixed up after a minor accident and heard that Amanda was here. I just had to see her and find out how she was doing. It seems that she has accomplished quite a lot in the past few months. You should be very proud of her," he said. While he was talking, he glanced at Amanda and smiled. He could see the question in her eyes, _If you call that a minor accident, I wonder what a major one is?_

"Oh, I am proud of my daughter, Mr. Stetson. Very proud," said Dotty, a note of warning in her voice. "What do you think of our newest little one?" she asked, as she laid a covered bowl on the bed tray. At Amanda's questioning glance, she said, "Just some chicken soup I whipped up. Good for what ails you."

"She's beautiful. She looks just like her mother," Lee said and glanced at his watch. "I'm sorry, but I have a meeting with my supervising producer, but I want to see you again, Amanda." He stood up with a grimace, his ribs still paining him despite a powerful dose of painkillers, to offer her a business card. "This is my office number at IFF. I'd give you the number at my apartment, but I'm almost never there. I'm required to check my messages three times a day, but my answering service can reach me anytime day or night." For a moment brown eyes met hazel once again and Lee planted the gentlest of kisses on her forehead. "I really do want to see you again, but I want the choice to be yours, when you are ready," he whispered, his softly spoken words for her ears alone. Then, he went out and closed the door softly behind him.

"What did he whisper to you just now?" Dotty asked.

Amanda's smile gave nothing away, as she said, "If he whispered it to me, he obviously meant for only me to hear it."

Dotty harrumphed. "He's obviously very taken with you. On a scale of 1 - 10, he's definitely an 11... or maybe a 12," she said, her forefinger tapping her chin thoughtfully.

"Now Mother, I know that look. I've only been separated from Dean for a few months and divorced from him for a few days. On top of that I just had a baby, I'm starting a new job and I have a new book coming out. The timing couldn't be worse."

"Well, the ball is in your court, Amanda. The next move is yours. What are you going to do?" Dotty asked.

Amanda looked down at her beautiful baby daughter, tummy full, she was now sound asleep, a bit of milk dribbling from the corner of her mouth. She put the baby over her shoulder and cuddled her close to her neck. Then as she patted and rubbed the baby's back, she sighed and said, "At the moment I haven't the foggiest idea, but give me a little while to let me get my feet under me and my head on straight again. Then we'll see." Amanda smiled as Victoria let out a soft burp and snuggled closer to her neck.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Over the next few months Lee checked his messages every two hours without fail. Billy was impressed with his new diligence, but knew there had to be more to it than that. Lee got more and more frustrated, when it became apparent that she wasn't going to contact him.

One particularly frustrating day, Lee calmed himself and thought, _Take it easy, Stetson. Be patient. You left it up to her, whether she wanted to see you again and when. She's been through quite a bit in the past year or so. Her life has been very full and very stressful. Hell, since the first time you saw her several months ago, she divorced that violent philandering fool she was married to, graduated from college suma cum laude no less, published a book, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and started a new job. She must be exhausted and if she's not, she must be Wonder Woman. Give her a chance to get her wits about her and she'll call you._

He had done an extensive background check on her, mostly to satisfy his own curiosity about her and found that she was squeaky clean, not even a parking ticket or an overdue library book. While he was investigating he ran across her home address and her phone number. He had even driven by her house a time or two, but he didn't want to disturb her or disrupt her life, so he left her alone.

But a few times, he couldn't resist parking down the block from her house late at night and watching as the lights downstairs blinked out one by one. He imagined Amanda moving through the house, her baby cuddled next to her neck, turning out lights and locking doors, readying it for the night. Then a soft light would come on in the corner bedroom upstairs. He could almost see her soothing her fussy little girl and settling her for the night, before climbing into bed herself to read a little to quiet her mind or scribble in her notebook about a new plot twist or a particularly interesting bit of dialogue for her latest novel before drifting off to sleep.

Then it happened. Toward the end of September, he checked his messages and there was one from Amanda. She apologized for not calling him sooner, but, as he had divined earlier, her life had been a whirlwind and her schedule had been packed and crazy the last few months. She asked him to meet her at the Blue Moon Diner just off the Marymount University campus at noon the next day. Lee smiled his thousand megawatt smile, jumped and punched the air. He would be there if he had to crawl on his hands and knees.

The next day, he was there promptly at a quarter till twelve and was seated at a table where he could see the door. Just when Lee thought she wasn't going to show, there she was, walking into the restaurant. Lee smiled, since she looked so adorable all flustered and out of breath. Lee got up to take her briefcase and purse and touched her lightly on her lower back as he escorted her to the table. He seated her and waited for her to get settled before he moved to his seat across the table from her.

"I didn't know what you would want to drink so I ordered coffee for myself while I waited," Lee said and fidgeted with his napkin. He was usually very smooth with the ladies, but he had the feeling that this was different; this was important.

Amanda smiled at his discomfiture and said, "Coffee is fine for me, too." She reached down for her briefcase and brought out a small wrapped package. "I brought you something I thought you might like," she said and handed it across the table to Lee.

Lee took it and turned it over in his hands a few times before he said, "You really didn't have to get me anything."

Amanda just smiled and said, "I know, but go ahead, open it."

Lee tore open the wrappings to reveal a book, but not just any book. It was an advanced copy of _Munich in Moonlight_ and when he flipped it open, he found that it was autographed. "To Lee. All my love, A.J. West 1987."

Lee smiled and reached to touch Amanda's hand as it rested on the table. "Thank you. I absolutely love it. I've spent many a lonely night globetrotting with Pepper and Sonny. My copy of _To London with Love_ is quite dog eared and _Salzburg in Springtime_ is getting that way. Those books have traveled literally thousands of miles with me in the last few years. Thank you for giving me a new adventure to read," he said softly.

Amanda's fingers played among Lee's as his hand lay open and relaxed on the table between them. Suddenly she allowed her fingers to be captured and gently enclosed in Lee's hand. He brought her hand to his lips and Amanda reached with her other hand to gently run the backs of her fingers down the side of his face. Lee looked up and Amanda returned his gaze, her eyes soft.

Amanda broke eye contact with difficulty and focused on their entwined hands. "I know that it's strange, but I feel like I've known you forever, even though I don't know you at all. It doesn't make sense."

"I know what you mean. I feel the same way. It's like there is this strong connection between us; this strong force drawing us to each other. When I met you, I knew you were an extraordinary woman and someone that I definitely wanted to get to know better," Lee said.

"I want that, too," she said, her voice barely more than a whisper, as Lee nuzzled his cheek against her palm. She cupped his face and softly stroked his cheekbone with the pad of her thumb.

Suddenly aware of time passing, she glanced at her watch and groaned. "I'm really sorry, but I need to get back for my class at 1:30. Would you like to order now?" she asked.

"Sure. I'm not really hungry. Would you like to order a salad and split an entree?" Lee asked.

"That sounds good," she said and perused the menu.

They finally settled on raviolis and meat sauce for the entree and speared pieces from the same plate while they chatted and nibbled on their salads.

In the days and weeks that followed, they met at the diner at least twice a week, when their schedules allowed. They attended the black tie premiere of Lee's documentary about the radical militant group calling itself New Utopia and the book launching for _Munich in Moonlight_. They bowled a few times and one night Amanda bowled a game with nine strikes in a row. Lee considered it a good game when he broke 100.

They took long drives in Lee's Porsche 911 Turbo Carrere, his beloved classic Porsche having been lost to an unfortunate accident during an assignment. They talked about anything and everything that came to mind and they even had a few stimulating, albeit good naturedly adversarial, discussions about foreign policy and the crumbling Eastern Bloc.

Amanda introduced Lee to the finer points of picnicking. She impressed him when she started a fire with only one match and then presented him with a perfectly roasted golden brown marshmallow. One evening not long before Halloween, as they snuggled together wrapped in a blanket before a fire that Amanda had built, Lee inhaled the sweet scent of the countryside and threw back his head to regard the stars. He shifted a bit to relieve a cramp in his side from reclining against a fallen log. Amanda had been curled against his chest, his arms and the blanket making a warm cocoon.

She raised her head and asked, "Are you all right?"

Lee said, "I'm fine. I just needed to ease a muscle or two. My shoulder and ribs still bother me a bit. That's all."

"I can move if it will make you more comfortable," Amanda offered.

Lee smiled at Amanda's penchant for forgoing her own comfort to ensure someone else's. He knew he did not have the heart to root her from her place, snuggled safe and warm against his chest like a small child, her head pillowed on his shoulder.

Suddenly, they sat there looking into each other's eyes, their lips only inches apart. Lee stayed where he was and waited, his eyes silently asking her to kiss him. Her eyes were soft with affection and attraction, but they also held no small amount of apprehension. He wanted the next move to be hers, because he knew the next step in their relationship had to be her choice, as had everything else. Throughout her life, she'd had little or no control over the events that had shaped her and damaged her in equal measure. For this reason the tiny bit of control he gave her was the hinge upon which everything else swung.

Lee reached to touch her face and stroke her cheek with the pad of his thumb. Then he curled his fingers around the back of her neck, his eyes whispering to her heart, _Trust me. I care too much about you to rush you or force you into anything you aren't ready for and I definitely don't want to hurt you or scare you away. Come to me. Come to me._

She placed a gentle hand on either side of his face. Then, she inhaled deeply and moved closer, but not to kiss him. She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his. For a long moment nothing or no one else existed but them.

For Lee and Amanda time slowed, as though the fates wanted them to take in every nuance, every detail of this amazing moment. Then it happened. Suddenly Amanda's lips were on his and the whole world exploded in a veritable kaleidoscope of emotion and color. As she kissed him, she could feel their hearts, their souls, their spirits intertwining.

When they finally came up for air, she pulled back slightly to look in his eyes once more and shook her head as though in disbelief. She blinked and took another deep breath. For the moment words escaped her and her face was painted with wonder and amazement.

When she could speak, all she could say was, "Wow!"

It was in that moment that Lee knew he had just had his last first kiss and he had found the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Now, all he had to do was convince her, but from the look on her face at the moment, she probably wouldn't need that much convincing.

As time went on Lee was able to impress Amanda with his extensive knowledge of fine wines and he introduced her to several types of haute cuisine.

Amanda said, "Spoiled and corrupted, my hips and thighs will never survive it."

Lee only chucked her gently under the chin with a curled finger and smiled at this. He told her, "What's this? You're skinny as a willow stem. You could stand to gain a pound or two here and there."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

One night not long before Thanksgiving, Lee invited Amanda to his apartment for the first time. He had only moved there recently and it was absolutely spotless when Amanda arrived. He had not invited her sooner since his other apartment was a dump and he wanted to make a good impression. Right on time, she knocked shyly on his door. He opened it and welcomed her. He kissed her lightly on the lips and took her coat. Then, he seated her at the breakfast bar with a glass of wine to watch him and chat with him while he continued preparations for dinner.

As Amanda sat there, she took in the space that made up Lee's new living environment. He had made good use of a somewhat small space and spread around the evidence of his world travels, his Tibetan ram's horn in a place of honor on the mantelpiece over the fireplace.

The dinner was a success to Lee's reckoning, as they snuggled together on the couch before the fire, this time built and lit by Lee, glasses of the light Riesling that had been paired with the exquisite frittata he had prepared for dinner in hand. Lee regaled her with tales of his travels around the world chasing subjects for his documentaries. He had just finished telling Amanda a story about his one week stay in the catacombs of Istanbul.

Amanda shivered and rubbed her upper arms as though to warm them and said, "Oh, Lee. That must have been terrible. I'll bet it had to have been worth it though."

"Not really. The film was beat out at the Independent Film Festival by a documentary on vampire bats, named _Bloodsuckers of the Dark._ It was disappointing, but that experience did give me an inordinate appreciation for decent food and my warm, comfortable bed for awhile," Lee said and shrugged.

Amanda looked up and shrugged, too. "I've never really been anywhere," she said dejectedly.

Lee touched her face and ran a gentle finger along her jaw. "You wouldn't be able to tell it, the places Pepper and Sonny have been."

"That's called extensive research and story development. I have detailed maps of everywhere they've been and a stack of books and tourist information. When I was _Munich in Moonlight,_ I got this tour book of Munich. Every major attraction is numbered and gives a description and a short history. I could almost see these amazing places in my head. Someday... someday, I want to go everywhere Pepper and Sonny have been, actually see the places I've been writing about," she said, her voice wistful, her loosely curled fist tapping her thigh for emphasis.

"I'm going to Vienna for a week in mid December to scout locations for my next documentary. You'll be on winter break by then, won't you? I thought maybe you would want to come with me. We could take a side trip to Salzburg. You could call it research for your next book. What do you think?" Lee asked, his expression hopeful.

"My passport is expired and I never renewed it. That might pose a problem. Then, there's my mother. She may not approve of me just jetting off halfway around the world with a man I only just met," Amanda said, her voice little more than a whisper.

As it turned out, Dotty was not averse to the idea, citing that after the whirlwind year she had had, Amanda probably did need a break. What better way to spend it, than in a romantic place with a good looking young man with a healthy sex drive. At this Amanda could only roll her eyes and say, "Oh, Mother."

LSAKLSAKLSAK

When they had been dating about two months, Amanda asked Lee if he would like to spend Thanksgiving with her and meet her family. Lee hem hawed a bit and finally said yes. After all he had already met her mother and her baby girl, meeting the boys should be a piece of cake. He realized that it would have to happen sooner or later, since Amanda was not like any other woman he had ever dated and he did not see Amanda as a fling or a passing fancy. For the first time in his life he could actually envision spending the rest of his life with one woman; that woman was Amanda.

Lee had to keep a check rein on himself, since he knew he needed to tread carefully where Amanda was concerned. To this end he gave himself numerous pep talks. _Don't jump the gun, Stetson. Take it slow. Give her some time. Give her some space. She's been through a lot in a short time and she has been burned in love twice. You may need to remind her that kindness, tenderness and gentleness still exist in the world. You may need to show her what real love is supposed to look like._

The night of the dinner with Amanda's family finally rolled around and Lee tapped on the front door at the appointed time. He was impeccably but casually dressed, his hair combed just so. He had his hands full with flowers for Mrs. West, a bottle of his favorite Beaujolais wine to drink with dinner and bottle of sparkling red grape juice for the boys to drink.

Amanda greeted him with a peck on the cheek and led him to the den. As they sat on the couch, Amanda seemed as nervous as he was, when she introduced her sons, Phillip, 14 and Jamie, 12. Lee seemed to have a special rapport with them as he told them about his job as a documentary film maker. Amanda watched and listened as Lee described scouting and photographing locations and a few of the adventures he had had tracking down subjects for his films. She was glad that he had left out the part about winding up in the hospital frequently due to injuries sustained in the pursuit of a subject. Phillip and Jamie sat on the floor at his feet like enchanted frogs, hanging on his every word.

Lee found that Jamie was quite the photographer and offered to let him have a go at his high end 35 mm camera. Phillip was more interested in the adventure and the interesting people he had met.

Phillip suggested, "Why don't you ask Mom to help you write a book about your adventures? I know I would certainly love to read about them."

Lee rumpled Phillip's hair and said, "That might be something to think about."

Conversation around the dinner table was lively as Lee and Amanda talked about their latest endeavors in publishing and film. Lee talked about his love of the books Amanda had written. He had recently finished _Munich in Moonlight_ and loved it. Amanda talked about her fourth book, which now had a basic plotline and a working title, _My Vienna Valentine_. Lee begged her for a preview, but she gave him a mock serious look and told him that he would have to wait, just like everyone else in the world.

He looked back at her, a spark of humor in his eyes, and said, "You know, no one believes me when I talk about dating A. J. West, author of the Mavis Culpepper books."

Amanda only smiled at this and countered with, "That may be so, since I'm not as famous as say Sue Grafton or Tom Clancy."

They finished out the evening with a lively game of Monopoly, which Amanda won handily, even with the boys and Lee passing $500 bills back and forth under the table.

It was after midnight when Amanda and Lee stood on her front door step saying goodnight. Lee looked at her with soft eyes and reached to touch her face. Amanda drew back slightly and smiled self-consciously. Lee came close to her, asking silently to kiss her. Amanda laid her hands on Lee's chest and her fingers played with the lapels of his jacket. She cocked her head slightly to one side and looked up at him, her eyes filled with affection and attraction.

Lee took this in and felt her skittishness. He curled a finger under her chin to hold her still while he planted the gentlest of kisses on her lips. He pulled back slightly to gauge her reaction and moved in for a brief but more passionate kiss. She moved her hands over his shoulders and when he kissed her again, she linked her fingers behind his neck. She threw her head back and sighed wistfully.

"What was that?" Lee asked softly.

"It's just that I've never felt like this before," Amanda said, her eyes sparkling, as she stood there, enfolded in Lee's arms.

"I feel it too," he said, as Amanda laid her head against his chest. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears and he wondered if Amanda could hear it too.

Amanda exhaled and asked, "May I walk you to your car?" She didn't want the evening to end there on the doorstep.

Lee took her hand and pulled her toward the gate. They strolled silently, but companionably, down the sidewalk. Lee released her hand and reached to unlatch the gate. Amanda ran her hands over her arms as though to warm them.

"Are you cold? Here," he said. He turned her toward him and wrapped his arms and his jacket around her, like a cozy cocoon. His lips rested on her temple, as he whispered, "There now. Is that better?"

Amanda wrapped her arms around his waist under his jacket and they stood there in the chilly moonlight, for the moment lost in each other. She stood there curled against his chest and never in her life had she felt so warm, so comfortable, so safe, so... loved? Love. How could she love this man, when she barely even knew him? That's something she would have to remedy in the near future. At this she sighed heavily.

Lee asked, "Are you all right? Did I do something wrong?"

"I'm okay. Actually, I'm more okay than I've been in a long, long time. ...And no, you're doing everything just right," Amanda said and smiled.

Lee twisted her playfully in his arms and kissed her on the forehead. He glanced at his watch and groaned. "I have an early meeting with my supervising producer concerning my next project. You feel so good in my arms, that I'm finding it very hard to let you go."

Amanda looked up and said, "I know what you mean. I'm having a very hard time letting go of you, too."

Lee continued to sway gently with Amanda in is arms as he looked at her and smiled. "I really like Phillip and Jamie and they seem to like me, too. I hope that I have a chance to get to know them better," he said.

Amanda reached to touch his face, as she said, "Oh, you will. I guarantee it. You know, that was a pretty interesting idea Phillip tossed out there."

"What idea was that?" Lee asked.

"The one about me helping you write a book about all your adventures. That might be something to think about," Amanda said, still stroking his cheek.

"Yeah," he said. "It might be a pretty good idea at that." Lee glanced at his watch again and kissed Amanda lightly on the lips. "I really do have to go. See you Monday?"

Amanda reluctantly disengaged herself from Lee's embrace and said, "Wild horses couldn't keep me away." More softly, she said, "Good night, Lee. Drive safe."

"Good night, Amanda. Sweet dreams," he said. As he turned away, he whispered, "You know I'll be dreaming of you."

Amanda stood just outside the gate and watched as Lee drove away, her fingers resting lightly on her lower lip, where Lee had kissed her. With a shake of her head, she turned and made her way back into the house.


End file.
